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Worried I've let dd (4) have her own way too much.

30 replies

alittleteapot · 26/10/2011 09:49

She's always been super energetic and very demanding, until recently didn't have any inclination to play independently. Always (from tiny baby) very opinionated and quite needy of my time. I'm pretty consistent about lots of things: sugary foods and crisps, telly only at certain times, but in other ways I've always used the reason with her approach - partly cos it seemed like all that worked as well as my natural way. e.g. well it's up to you - you can go out with dirty teeth or clean teeth (always caves and brushes teeth.) But just watched her bossing around another adult and suddenly felt horrified that she's allowed to be in charge too much. Is it too late to get a bit stricter? She's just started school and is blooming at the structure and discipline that comes with it. Is it too late to have a bit more of this at home??? One of the things is endless let's pretend games in which she tells people what to say or do. I've explained it needs to be a two way thing and she does now say "you can say whatever you want." but it's impossible to say no to anything and her just accept it without a long fight. It's exhausting and I'm bit worried is my fault. I guess part of it is just being a bright four year old girl and I don't want to crush her confidence, but...

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
preciousmum · 01/11/2011 23:58

I am so glad that i read this tread.My ds 6 is very confident boy,and i think i was always kind of mum that askes for his opinion,negociate,lesten to his suggestions,i must says most of the times he acts older than his age.and says very good suggestions.But recently i am trapped into ongoing negociation,i think i must stand up and be really firm.Thank you so much for all ideas,this MN is the best place to look for help.
PS :English is not my first language:)

alittleteapot · 02/11/2011 11:09

Where I get unstuck is when she decides she just doesn't want to go to bed. Any tips???

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Familydilemma · 02/11/2011 11:32

Logical consequences. If dd refuses to go to sleep and has something like an activity or playdate the next day for which she'd then be overtired, I explain that I will have to reconsider our plans. Not a punishment as such- but if she's too tired we can't do something after school.

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alittleteapot · 02/11/2011 11:36

yeah, that's what i do. makes her cry and cry and helps a bit to deal with it on the night, but no control over if she suddenly decides at beginning of bedtime that we're going to mess around.

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youarekidding · 02/11/2011 16:43

I'd just repeat in a boring voice DD were putting PJ's on now etc and do it for her if she won't co-operate.

I'll never forget the night DS refused bed and I did bedtime routine including reading him a story whilst he screamed at me turned off his lights and left. He was so Shock that after screaming for a bit he just gave up! He never tried it again.

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