How long might it take dd to settle into nursery?

[WhoahThereCrazyHorse]

I know this is a 'how long is a piece of string' question but I am having a serious wobble about the decision I've made to choose nursery over a cm. It was her first settling in visit yesterday and she was ok with it, but lost the plot a few times, I think because she was overwhelmed by the other children and new people. At home she is a really happy, smiley, cheeky little thing and it broke my heart to see her so unsure of herself. Will she ever be as happy there as she is in her own home?

Apologies, I know none of you can really answer this as you don't know me or dd, but I am struggling to hold it together and would love to hear any other experiences, positive or not.

Thanks

how old is your DD and how often will she be going? And yes she will be as happy as at home

9 mo, she's doing 2 days throughout Nov, then moving to 4 days from Dec onwards.

My DD has been going to nursery since she was 10 months old and she is nearly 2 now. She did take a while to settle in but we started her off on one day a week which everyone said was a mistake and which, looking back, I think was. Things got much better when she went to 2 days, probably because there was not such a long gap between each session so she didn't have to get used to it all over again each time. So hopefully your DD will not have the same problem.

On two days, she went off quite happily each morning until during the summer I think, (round 20 months or so) when she started to get quite upset when I left and she was having moments of crying for me and her father during the day. This was obviously worrying, although she enjoyed the activities the rest of the time, but after a couple of weeks (not as long as it sounds, bearing in mind she only goes 2 days), she settled down again and now loves it. She still has a wobble when I leave her in the morning but is always fine once I go. We try to watch her for a while when we pick her up before she sees us and she is always engrossed in whatever activity she is doing.

So what I am saying is, give it a try and keep in touch with the nursery and your DD's key worker. She should settle in after a few sessions and be back to being confident and happy. If she really isn't settling after a few weeks and nursery just isn't the right atmosphere for her, they should tell you but even if they don't you will feel it. However, don't be surprised if she settles well but then goes through phases of being unsettled again as she gets older and becomes more aware. If her nursery workers are good with her and give her lots of cuddles, as I am sure they will, she should settle again quickly.

Can you do a settle in session on a quieter day? Fridays and Mondays are quiet at our nursery as lots of parents returning to work PT have either Friday or Monday off. Tues, Wed & Thurs are the busiest days. It may help your DD to go to the nursery and spend time with the staff etc. on a quieter day, then go back again on a more 'normal' day and she will have got used to it in stages.

Other than that, can't really help, as my DD started at 6mo and has just kind of taken it in her stride (not gloating, it's the one thing that has been easy!).

D

Thanks all. Just done second visit and no tears (from DD or me!) so a big improvement. Deliaskis, you don't around like you're gloating at all, it's good to hear a positive story. And it seemed a lot quieter there today so that might well have helped. If it hadn't been I was going to ask for an extra visit on Mon so thanks for the suggestion.

Had quite a good chat with the room leader about DD's need for lots of cuddles (so pfb!) so I'm a bit happier, although I'm sure we've got a long way to go!

Oh glad 2nd visit gone well - that's a v good sign

DD took a while to properly settle with the CM too, so not just children going to nursery. I went back to work 3 days a week when DD was 9mo and she was with the CM for 2.5 days a week. It was hard for me and her really, but she stopped crying all the time quite quickly, but took a while to run off to the CM without a backwards glance

DD is 2yo now and loves our CM. The only sad thing is that she often calls me the CM's name, because she probably does spend about 1/2 the time with the CM now I'm back at work full-time.

Thanks Purple, strangely reassuring to know that it takes time to settle with a CM as well. In my hysteria I seem to have convinced myself that the decision to go with a nursery is what's going to cause dd to be unsettled and was looking again at childminders (tried this route originally but couldn't find one I was happy with).

my DD has gone 3.5 days a week to nursery since about 6 months. I think the younger the better and that doing "settlin gin" and hanging about lots actually makes things worse. If you are confident (and this means you have to absolutely 100% trust the staff) you just wander it, hand them over quick kiss and walk straight out. If the child sees you are upset they just get anxious. My dd has had phases of being a bit upset at drop offs and I've realised that if I hang about trying to settle her it just gets worse (and I am late for work) if I walk out and then look back through the woindeow she's usually happily playing with the girls there