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Original poster

'Lying' on birth cert.

19 replies

gokeyyourselfplease · 26/10/2011 00:57

DP brought this up today (well yesterday I suppose) my doc has just changed for birth and we met the new one today, she assumed that DP was dad - which i fine and I know DP likes it.

Except after he brought up birth certificate and was asking about the 'Father' part.
Now DCs 'father' is not and will not be in picture ever. So it was going to be blank.
DP has made it clear that he would wont to be around for DC if we ever broke up. So thinks that he should be put as the 'Father' on BC.

Part of me thinks that is lovely and sensible but equally not sensible at all and wrong.

Anyone got any advice?

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hellhasnofury · 26/10/2011 00:59

No it's wrong. Your child deserves to know the truth and at some point in the future it WILL come out. Do not lie.

workshy · 26/10/2011 01:01

I think their must be thousands of men on BCs that aren't the biological father of the child

if you did split up in the future your DP at that point might contest paternity and what effect would that then have on your child?

I can see why it is tempting but I'm not sure it's something I would do

think I would leave it blank and then explain to your child that 'daddy chose to be their daddy and that makes them extra special'

KristinaM · 26/10/2011 01:05

And how arebyou going to explain this to your son/daughter when they are older? " oh i decided to lie on your birth certificate because he was my bf at the time amd it seemed like a nice idea"

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Original poster
gokeyyourselfplease · 26/10/2011 01:06

DC would know that DP wasn't their biological father whether or not DP was on BC.
Shit - this is complicated :(

OP posts:
somedayillbesaturdaynite · 26/10/2011 01:11

it would also give dp equal parental rights to yours should u ever split in the future..

hellhasnofury · 26/10/2011 01:13

How far are you prepared to carry the lie? My kids have been asked about their health background as DH has a blood clotting problem that showed up recently. Both kids had to be blood tested to see if they have the condition. Are you prepared to lie in a situation like that? What kind of a mother/father/child relationship is built on such a fundamental lie?

DH has no idea who is biological father is but he does know who the dad that's raised him since the age of 6 is and that's the man that matters. He may not be on DH's birth certificate but he's in his heart and that is far more important.

GoreSplattersHouse · 26/10/2011 01:16

I know someone who put partner as father on bc, they have since split up. It's not a good place to be. Real father or none at all should go in there. Besides which it is a legal document, if partner is not bio-father than not legal to put the name in. It can cause heaps of problem later, don't do it!

KatharineClifton · 26/10/2011 04:23

You can be sentenced to up to seven years in prison for a perjury offence, which is what you would be prosecuted for by lying on a birth certificate.

Plus, it is not good for the reasons outlined above.

mumatron · 26/10/2011 05:54

why dont you leave the bc blank and if your partner is serious in the future you could look into him adopting your dc?

StuckUpTheFarawayTree · 26/10/2011 06:06

My DD has no father on her BC. I thought I was with my partner who I subsequently married "for ever". 5 years later he left, and we'd given her his surname. So glad I left the father blank now, and have since changed her name by deed poll. She has never met her bio father.

ScaredTEECat · 26/10/2011 06:09

It's not 'lying' it's lying. It is a lie. And fraudulent. And illegal.

cbawden · 26/10/2011 09:51

Have to agree that it's illegal and could potentially cause lots of problems in the future. You say that baby's dad is not and won't be involved in any way however if for any reason he decided to wanted to be, he could always take legal action to have the birth certificate changed (regardless of whether he was having any contact with the child) and I'm afraid if that were the case a court would take a very dim view of a mother who knowingly lied on a public document.

AMumInScotland · 26/10/2011 10:01

It's lovely that your partner intends to be "dad", but you shouldn't put down something untrue on the birth certificate. It's meant to be the person who is the biological father (or at least, the person who you both think/assume is), it's not a place to say "Person who is lovely and plans to be this baby's dad"

Shinyshoes1 · 26/10/2011 10:16

I didnt think the biological father is the one that 'has' to be on the birth certificate, I thought a partner at the time who plans to bring the baby up could go on there Confused.

prolificwillybreeder · 26/10/2011 10:18

I think mumatron's idea is a sensible one

An0therName · 26/10/2011 19:14

It might be worth looking into getting parental responsability for your DP - its quite possible for him to get it - but don't do it by lying - not a good idea

sunnyday123 · 26/10/2011 21:16

id more worry about the equal parental rights in the future if you do split - thatd be a nightmare regardless of how unlikely it seems now - and if the ex does get in touch in the future you'll be prosecuted if he finds out - dont do it. DB was in a situation like this and the child had her mothers surname on the BC. When they married, the child and their own together are now all joint names

Original poster
gokeyyourselfplease · 27/10/2011 00:42

Thank you - you are all right I know you are. (think it was hormones and the sentiment behind his thought that made me doubt it) - thanks

OP posts:
KatharineClifton · 27/10/2011 01:07

I've been there Wink Best wishes for your pregnancy.

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