Homework fury

[WinkyWinkola]

Ds1 has just gone bonkers over my asking him to do his half term homework. He always gets very angry about it.

Today, He has snapped pencils, stomped on bakugan and scribbled all over his worksheet.

I put him on his bed where he punched the ceiling and now his hand is bleeding. I've treated his hand with antiseptic and a plaster.

Tried to calm him and hug him but he won't be pacified. This happens in varying extremes every time we have homework. He is in year 2.

Dh thinks we should let him fail and go to school not having done his homework. School seems to work for him. He does well there. When he refused to get dressed we took him in his pyjamas twice. He gets dressed now.

So, do you think I should send him to school not having done his homework so that in future he might be more co-operative? I'd send a note to his teacher to explain.

I'm very weary of all the distress and grief over homework before he even starts it!

no idea.hes just sad all the time but doesnt know why.his teachers have picked up on it too.its heartbreaking.

Poor lad. It's so sad to be young and miserable. I know ds1 is miserable at times too. We tell him we love him about 7 times a day and really hope it's something that can be sorted out.

ds1 is a middle child and i often worry that this could be why but i dont know,i think hes just the most sensitive of the bunch.i make sure we have lots of just me and him time,either just short walks or going to exhibitions,hes very arty and a good friend has a gallery and welcomes ds into the gallery/studio.he is an amazing child and its fantastic that he can regognise in himself things that make him angry,ways to cope with it etc.
you and your ds will get there i promiseif the professionals wont see you,keep bugging them until they do.

Winky, I have send you a PM.

I am a huge fan of The Explosive Child, for dealing with kids with outbursts like that. It's not about the problem, it's just about coping strategy. Compatible with How To Talk, etc.

He actually sounds quite purposive rational for a seven yo and sounds like he wants to be in control. So why don't you let him be in control of his homework? He obviously knows he needs to do it and want to get it done for school. So don't mention it - just leave him to it.

Does your DS have any idea what makes him so angry about homework? What does he say when you ask him?

Maybe he likes the separation between home and school, and finds the two coming together difficult? If that's the case it might help to set up a room (or part of a room closed off with a curtain or similar) that is very specifically 'school'. And he could do his work there, with his uniform still on if it helps? Might be a rubbish idea though, I'm certainly not speaking from experience!

He likes to be in control. He hates it when he feels he 'has' to do things like getting dressed, doing homework etc.

However in the last two days his behaviour has been amazing. He's been obedient, very kind to his sister, pleasant.

Weird. I find the extremes really unsettling. I'm chasing the GP today.

I have one who alternates like that.
Re homework & control: it helped if I gave the child as much leeway to be creative as possible, and set it as a challenge. Okay this is a job, but see how interesting you can make it.

My explosive child (DS2) isn't high ability enough to work like that, but DS1 was (and sounds like OP's DS is, too).

Be wary of GP-diagnosis route... I mean, if you have to you have to. But they could start sprouting unusual diagnoses that are hard to confirm except after years of assessments. That's why I like The Explosive Child, it's about coping with a range of conditions, not needing to know exactly which one it is.