How old were your children when they stopped believing in Santa Claus / Father Christmas?

[Organa]

I can hear doubts forming in my nine year old's mind and I am not sure we'll get to the other side of Christmas before he declares it as a myth. Unfortunately, he'll probably say it in front of his younger brother and ruin the magic for him too.

How old were your children when they stopped believing?

Torey Hayden in one of her books says that she finds discussing Santa with kids even harder than the subject of sex :)

It's just so individual. Some kids may be perfectly ready to understand how it really works at 7, and some will find the truth somewhat traumatic even at 10.

You just need to know whether he's ready. But if he is, there's no need to avoid the truth. I think the most sensible way of telling older siblings is inviting them to team up with you in creating this magical day for the younger kids. Tell him in private that he's now old enough to join grown-ups in organizing this magical day. Take him to the shop to buy Santa's presents for the younger brother, choose a wrapper, then decide on a hiding place for the presents in your house together etc. See whether he can do handwriting on the present tag in a way that would be hard to identify with him (left hand perhaps?). Ask him 'Do you think we are going a good job? do you think your brother will believe it's from Santa?' etc.

If he's ready, he will enjoy his new responsibilities!

If you have children close in age, does the younger one generally stop believing at the same time as the older one? DS is nearly 8 and am not sure how much longer he will believe for (think this year is OK) but DD is 6 and feel that when he finds out, she probably will as well (knowing my luck I will manage to let them know by accident).

Mine were quite young but then we have Christmas in Sweden where Santa comes into the room, so it's hard after a certain age not to recognise granddad's voice behind the beard. I have to say it has not in any way ruined the magic though. It doesn't for me and I'm 47.

My DS was 3 when he announced he didn't believe in God or Santa.

DD is nearly 11 and still believes.

I find it difficult to believe that a nine year old really thinks that Father Christmas is literally true. Surely by that age they are just playing along/humoring their parents?

But then I've never understood Christmas is only 'magical' with a dose of FC/Santa as it's not somethign I was brought up with and I haven't done it with my children. I haven't noticed that children with FC myths have a happier Christmas than those that don't, except that at some point when the myth is debunked some families enjoy Christmas less, which seems a bit sad.

OP if your older child enjoyed the myth then if you talk to him won't he see that your younger child will want to go on believing? I'd take the risk of talking to him about it on his own if you are concerned about some sort of scene.

There are other ways of enjoying Father Christmas than just humouring your parents, nooka. For me, standing waiting for his lantern to appear against the snow is just magical, it's one of those things that make the world a little bit more beautiful and exciting, and the fact that we are all of us suspending our disbelief to hold that moment is part of what makes it special. A bit like going to the theatre and having tears brought to your eyes by a beautiful piece of acting: you know that it's not real, and that those actors may even hate each other's guts in RL, but somehow knowing that doesn't spoil the magic. I think that's more or less how dcs feel about it. They don't seem to feel the need to point out the obvious, any more than I feel the need to get up in the middle of Romeo and Juliet's love scene and shout out "they're not together, really".