What would have done

[nickiey]

Was out shopping today and as you might expect it was mega busy, in amongst all of this I saw a young boy about 2 years old being led by a man, the boy was struggling big time calling for mumma mumma and then man was being very forceful, trying to reasure him but I never heard him say dadda as in "there there daddy will look after you until mumma gets back" or, well you know what i mean.
Anyway I really thought that this could have been all innocent and the boy was just being a pain for his dad but part of me thought that too it could just have easily been abduction-I know that if it was my son I wouldnt have any worries about someone asking me if everything was ok etc. Anyway I followed him with my eyes as he went into the baby change rooms, the child still screaming, they were in there for a good 15 mins and when they came out the boy was calm and drinking juice from a bottle.
Im shocked that I thought such a bad thought of the man, Im annoyed i didnt go up to him and just ask if everything was ok.

I'd have just felt pity for the guy.

I'd have done the same as you on the grounds that I'd have been too apprehensive to approach him by myself and would never have forgiven myself if I switched on the news later that night to find the same child had been abducted! Well done you for keeping an eye out for the child.

I think i'd have done the same!
kept a watchful eye on the child but minded my own buisness. (thats MUCH better than ignoring it and later reading the worst)

I think its wrong to assume that just because its a man leading the child they are being abducted.

If it was a woman leading the child, and the child screaming "daddy" "daddy" would we have done the same i wonder?

I think keeping an eye on the child was the best approach and very sensible. I agree with NanyL

QUOTE " think its wrong to assume that just because its a man leading the child they are being abducted.

society today often stereotypes this situation.

I do often feel sorry for the fathers nowadays, often they work majority of the time and when they are faced with outings with there child it can be difficult.

My ex never had the children on his own properly till we split up and I know he often had a strugle with the girls because they were so used to me being there main carer and always there for them. It can be tuff and to the outside world when your child starts screaming and struggling with you it can come across bad.

Dh worries about this. I've started a thread on it before. DS1 is 6 non verbal. severely autistic and frequently has to be dragged screaming (even if we try and work round him). DH says its much easier for me as people won't assume I'm trying to abduct him. Unfortunately ds1 is getting too strong for me. If you tried to ask dh whether everything was ok in the midst of dealing with it he wouldn't be able to stop and answer you anyway (ds1 would be off). It's a tricky one- if ds1 was pelting at full speed away from me - I would want people to intervene and stop him (which they probably wouldn't because he looks old enough to have road sense- he has zero), but I could really do without people stopping to try and ascertain whether he was being abducted when he was kicking off. Your approach would probably have suited me best.

With hindsight, I think DS1 was almost abducted around his first birthday. He had been walking since 10 months and wanted to be out of his pushchair. I let him out and then stupidly got distracted by his older brother (aged 3.5) who chose that moment to run away. Next thing, I could not find DS2 anyway. I was shouting his name and then two people stopped me to say someone had taken him and pointed out the direction.

I grabbed DS1 and ran in the direction. All the way to the shopping centre doors where I caught up with a women carrying my son (who was screaming the place down). She said she was taking him to customer services because he was lost - but she had walked right past customer services followed by 15 or so shops, right to the exit. At the time I believed her and grateful to have DS2 back. But then afterwards I started thinking that she walked right past customer services. She was also an employee of the shopping centre, so she would have known where customer services was (she had one of the cleaner uniforms on). What she said did not make sense.

Scarey. I think the people that stopped me and pointed out the direction my son was being taken felt uneasy, even though it was a woman.

Mandy.