my children always give up toys to others and I feel annoyed and to blame

[foreverbrummie]

My children are 3.5 yrs and 2 yrs and whenever we go to the playground if another child comes up to the swing they are on - the eldest immediately gets off - today she had just been on the swing for a minute and immediately relinquished it. The younger one cried because two small children were at the top of the slide. Whenever they are with someone new they cling to me and will rarely go on something at the playground if another child is there. At kindergarten (we are in Germany) two children came up and took the spades off both of them and then they complained to me.

I feel annoyed about it - I don't want them to be timid but also blame myself and maybe I have been too controlling or strict I don't know. I made my irritation apparent today which I should not have done and told them not to give things up they are playing with. I know my rational head knows they will not have understood and just seen it as me telling them off.

How about explaining to them about turn-taking and that it's ok for them to take their turn?

my little boy is two and very similar. he will let go of his toy and then seems to wait until the other person has finished then go and pick it up again, its only happened once or twice thankfully. now he has started spielgruppe (we are in germany too! in cologne) i hope it gives him more confidence. I tell him 'its your turn now, its OK' on the slide/toy etc but he backs away looking worried by another child approaching. would be good to hear any advice.

All you can do is encourage them to take their turn. Stand nearby and say something like 'Newchild's turn after you, mychild' being smiley :) If they get off, then say, 'it's ok, you have your turn first'.

If you think that you are too strict, then are you giving them enough choices? Are they afraid of you if they do what they want rather than what you want? Do they have time and space to evaluate things for themselves?