Am I the only mummy who......................................

[trinityrocks]

sometimes feels that she is totally failing in the sleep department. I just cannot get my 8 month old to learn to go to sleep on her own or stay aslepp for more than two hours at a time max!!
I am seriously feeling like crap. I just am sooooo tired.Am I just a hopeless mummy or is it really quite hard to get babies to sleep the way we would want them to????
Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds herself walking around like a zombie at 3 in the morning with a baby who thinks its playtime or nearly cries some nights when its already 11:30 and I just can't get her to sleep.
Please tell me I'm not the only one, it will be a little comfort for me to know that it's not just that I am useless.

You're not the only one...in fact I believe it's quite common.

My dd was like this. She is now just 4 and a great sleeper ...

Trinityrocks - my ds was exactly the same. Every night we would have to stay with him for up to an hour until he fell asleep and then he was usually in our bed by midnight.... and still woke during the night looking for water/milk until he was 2!

You're not failing... some kids are just like that. When dd was born she just liked her sleep and slept all night from 11wks old. Ds is 4.5 yrs old now and last night he came through and woke us at 2am. It drives us nuts, but because its not every night we are not sleep deprived so can deal with it better.

I remember dreading going to bed at night when ds was small as I knew it was another night of torture (and yes it feels like torture).... just as you fall into a well needed deep sleep, he would wake us up.... and that happened 4 times a night, every night for a loooooong time, well after I returned to work fulltime.

I don't have the answers, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and it DOES get better!

trinity, you are not useless, you are knackered.

Have you thought about 'controlled crying'. It's really just leaving your baby to cry themselves to sleep with 'guilt trips' every 10 minutes to soothe baby.

Providing your baby is not sick/ hungry/wet/too cold/too hot, it does work and there are some fab threads about this.

you are not useless, its nothing

some of em just don't. i've got one too, fifteen months and wakes at least twice a night, often more.

but one day he will....

UCM - Didn't work for ds! He just cried himself sick 2 nights in a row after trying it for 2 hours!!!! Nope, doesn't always work.... could be worth a try though.

sorry meant to say its nothing you are doing or not doing

personally i have never tried controlled crying, i haven't the stomach for it, or maybe just not desperate enough yet!

Agree that it's not you, it's your baby. DD was a dream sleeper from the very off and by 12 weeks, was sleeping 8-8 AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS NORMAL. Along comes DS and reality hits home big style. At 9 months, he has only just started sleeping through and even then, it's only until 5am (which I'm trying to deal with at the moment)

It will come but until then, you just have to get through each day as best you can.

Hugs to you

you're not the only one. I ended up resorting to sedatives with all three of mine. Am evidently totally useless at teaching children good sleep habits, despite having read just about every book on it...

You aren't useless at all - it is very very hard being so tired.
She is contentious, but the books by Gina Ford were a complete lifesaver for us and for my DD's.

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I'm another mum with a sleepless baby - she's 7.5 months. So you're definitely not alone! I can't help feeling like a failure though, so I know what you mean. I actually decided not to go to an Xmas party last night because there'd be other mums with babies the same age and I knew we'd talk about sleeping and I couldn't face the inference that I've failed to get it under control.

I actually think the feeling of failure is worse than the sleep deprivation and that if I thought everyone else's baby was like this then I'd cope much better.

The more reading I do on the topic though, the more convinced I become that it's completely natural for babies to need to be put to sleep and to wake up loads for feeds and re-assurance and that it's just modern western society that puts pressure on babies to do differently. Luckily most babies are mellow and adaptable so can conform to the expectations. Sounds like you and I don't have such babies!

I was sobbbing earlier after dd had 2 15 minute naps today and spent the afternoon crying hr eyes out with exhaustion so you are definitely not alone there. But I always feel so guilty afterwards for getting upset or cross with her.

Sorry for long post but hope you don't feel so alone!

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Rest assured TR you're not the only one. I'm too darn tired to write any more though. See you on the other side.

Trust me at 8 months I wouldn't be that worried, neither of my boys have evr needed much sleep, both can manage to get by on virtually no sleep, (unlike me)

Trinity, you are not alone. I get post-traumatic stress thinking about dd's sleep in her baby days. She does not have a sibling - surprised? The way baby sleeps has nothing to do with you ... and it does get better. It is the luck of the draw.

Hurray - someone else!!!!
You are not on your own!!!!
In addition I have a 3 year old who is up for the day at around 4am

I have a thread going called sleepless in newcastle if you want to join me!!