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Do you regret having four children?

39 replies

CheesyWotzits · 07/10/2011 19:15

I have 3 DCs and would like a fourth. I read a post on here a while back where someone mentioned an article in the |Guardian saying the vast majority of people regret having their fourth... Couldn't ever find the article but can't imagine it could be true,,,,?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
faverolles · 07/10/2011 21:17

I have four and I'm loving it, no regrets here at all!
I'm also one ofsix, which I also loved. We had a brilliant time growing up.
The first Christmas I spent at DH's family (he's one of two) was awful - so quiet and felt quite lonely.
We have now created our own noise and chaos makers, which can be exhausting and frustrating, but is mostly lots of fun.

CheesyWotzits · 07/10/2011 21:45

OriginalGhoster - just out of interest what would you say is worth spending on and what isn't (grabs pen to take notes....) ?

OP posts:
OriginalGhoster · 07/10/2011 22:03

Ooh... That could be a new thread. I bet you'd get a wide variety of answers. Of the top of my head, and only my opinion, you will know a lot of this as you have 3

Worth spending on

Housing, as much space as you can, with as many doors as you can (mum told me that!)
Food, but good basic stuff, if you can make it, don't buy it, is my motto.
Reliable car, cheap is expensive when it comes to running them.

Not worth it
Fancy, new clothes for young dcs who don't care what they wear as long as it's comfy and clean. Lots of good second hand stuff available
Lots of organised activities for very young children who are happy just playing with each other
New toys, again lots of great bargains at car boots etc
New baby equipment, NCT etc is good
Expensive theme parks, our dcs have never been to one. They are perfectly fine, not traumatized and can still interact with their peers, amazing but true...

I could go on...

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OriginalGhoster · 07/10/2011 22:06

Frozen meat and veg, much cheaper than fresh, nothing wrong with it, and never goes off.

Oh and here's a great money saver, don't educate them privately...

lockets · 07/10/2011 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Almostfifty · 08/10/2011 19:37

I had four boys, never, ever regretted it. To me, three was the hard bit, the fourth just slotted straight in and the only problem I had was that he wouldn't ever take a bottle, so I was stuck till he stopped breastfeeding.

They're now all teenagers and absolutely lovely.

RandomMess · 08/10/2011 19:42

Yep the 4th just slotted in, I'm sure she spent the first 18 months just watching the others! She is the both the naughtiest and most entertaining. Once they were all at school it was a doodle, best of all they tend to argue with each other rather than us Grin

Sadly my eldest has gone to live with her Dad so only have 3 at home now and her absence is huge Sad

bumpybecky · 08/10/2011 19:43

I have 4 and don't regret it :)

there's nearly 10 years between #1 and #4 which makes things a bit easier.

NormanTebbit · 08/10/2011 19:50

MIL had 4 and when asked, said with hindsight she would have just had two, 'but I'm not saying which two!"

BIL was the youngest of 8 and he and his brother never had enough food Sad

bananatrifle · 08/10/2011 20:11

I had 4 with 8 years between the first and last ones. They're all much older now, and you do forget, with time (and loss of memory) how much bloody bloody hard work it is.

I had a DD after my first two DSs and she was a complete dream of a child, very very easy. Thought one more wouldn't make any difference, but my god, it almost finished me off. So much so I managed to persuade my GP and the consultant that I wanted to be sterilised, even though I was only 26. (That was in the good old days - not sure if they do it that young now). But I really felt I had to start taking control of my own life in terms of not getting pregnant just by my husband looking at me, but I was also acutely aware that the more DCs I was having the more my older DSs were missing out (but also gaining in many ways - not that they'd have necessarily agreed at the time, but they have enjoyed being older brothers now)

I'm used to being able to just walk down to the shops by myself now, or organising my weekends around not only what they want to do, but what I want to do now, but it took years and years and years to get to that point.

I have to say, there is nothing better than a houseful of fun and if you can mix in a dog and cat or two, it makes for just about as perfect a family feeling as you can get. There was quite a bit of sibling rivalry we had to monitor and you have to take time to realise each of them has their own very unique personality and although you can't always manage it, to have a bit of time with each of them is a really good thing to do, but that I found those times few and far between.

Now they're all older, the sense of pride I feel when they're all gathered in the same room cannot be matched by anything. They all love being together (for the first hour or so anyway :) ) and I love having them all together.

Go for it, I say and good luck x

InmaculadaConcepcion · 08/10/2011 20:21

I started off as one of two, then became one of five (and later six) by step-family fusion. Emotional complications of joining up with another family notwithstanding, I can honestly say that I really enjoyed being part of a gang growing up - and I still do. And despite our parents later going their separate ways, me and my step-siblings are still as close as ever and I hugely value that.

Mind you, we grew up in the days when our family could get away with having a Volvo estate and the two youngest fighting riding in the boot....

One of my sisters has 4DC and one has 5 - both families are a joy to spend time with (and they both have VW transporters!!).

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 08/10/2011 20:22

No regrets at all. I'm tired and money is sometimes tight but they have far more opportunities than i ever had and the 3 younger ones particuarly play together really well.

BadRoly · 08/10/2011 20:23

I sometimes would like a return to no children at all but wouldn't be without my 4, especially on the good days!

And there are times when the conventional 2 children would be easier - we have just booked 2 hire cars for a holiday because a 6 seater was almost 3 times the price!

However no3 lulled us into a false sense of security by being a absolute dream pregnancy/birth/baby so that no4 nearly broke us (horrid scares during pregnancy and first few months of his life)!

Four4me · 08/10/2011 20:49

Dc4 is only 7 months and the last few months have been hard work but wouldn't change it for one minute!

We too have two 'batches'! Ds 1 and 2 (now 7 & 6) are only 14 months apart then we had a four+ years gap till dd1 then 15 month gap.

They are all smitten with each other and even dc4 has slotted straight into the gang (tonight all four sat in a line watching Strictly he was bobbing away to the music smiling!)

Ds1 has downs syndrome so that adds in an extra slant on the family (in a good way)!

No regrets here!

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