tearful - small bit of help required please

[fandango75]

Hello,

I don't usually post much alas am having a tough day and cannot seem to stop my tears.

I am 17 weeks pregnant, have DS1 who is 2.9.
I work 4 days in a demanding job (which i hate with a passion and will look to move after DC2)
My husband works odd hours at the best of times but is currently working in another city until christmas.
I am knackered, tearful, lonely (alot of family live abroad)
and today i shouted at my son (for repeatedly not listening), not screaming but much louder than i would normally be and i always pride myself on being reasonable and not shouty especially as he is so young.
He ended up in tears (briefly)

We'd had a lovely morning in the park then home for lunch (shouty bit happened I also ended up in tears afterswards in the bathroom)

We the then spent a wonderful afternoon by a big lake in camps and feeding ducks etc and generally laughing and having a blast

I do hoever feel so bad and crap for shouting today. I feel i took out my frustration of not having DH around, hating my job, feeling shit and tired and like no one fucking gives a shit. Its not the little guys fault.

I am pissed off with life at the moment - its seems like an endless grind. I also had a hosiptal appointment and ended up wanting to murder some trumped up 12 year old registrar for talking to me like a twat so that also doesn't help.

Could just do with some moral support. I adore my son with all my heart and just need to be cheered up.

Do i sound like a whiny old bat? I know I ma probably hormonal. Can't stop feeling weepy though so any advice greatly appreciated.

Thanks

fandango re read your post and look at all the lovely things you did today with your ds (park and ducks and lots of other things which must have taken a lot of effort when you don't feel great)

I would actually say try and forget about your lapse (i.e. the shouting) and possibly ease up a bit on yourself. For example, your son may have been just as happy with one trip out today.

Try and have small things to look forward to, even if it's just little things like a new magazine or a long bath. Try and make sure you have a bit of company if your dh is away a lot.

Take as many short cuts as you can with the household stuff and food preparation etc. Look after yourself as much as you can. It won't harm your son to have an hour of tv while you have a rest for example.

You had a lovely time after the shouty bit - your wee boy doesn't hold a grudge and maybe even learned something from your shouting. In the same situation (years ago now) my own mum told me that sometimes children have to learn that if they repeatedly push mummy too far, she might snap. Did you shriek loud enough to hurt your throat? You didn't smack him or hurt him and he got over his shock / distress.

Assuming that he's sleeping now, go and give him a kiss, pour yourself a nice coffee / hot choc / bubbly bath and forgive yourself. Tomorrow is another day.

Sending you hugs and chocolate, even though that is not part of the unwritten MN secret rules!

You shouted once and you got upset as it is out of character. Your DS cried because he isn't used to you shouting. That is a good thing as it shows you don't do it daily and you care that you made him cry, iyswim. Not good that you lost your temper, but no one got hurt and he won't be damaged in any way. We all shout at some stage!

The things you describe seem like the things that would get anyone down - DH away, no nearby family etc. Whereabouts do you live? Do you have friends who can help out, or lend a supportive ear?

You don't sound like a moany old bat at all! You had an overall good day with DS and as you say, you "had a blast".

You seem like a good mum and I'm sure you'll be fab when the DC2 is born.

hello ladies

Good grief no not that loud at all just loud for me.

We did 2 trips today just as he gets up at about 6 and it can be ever such a long day but have been allowoing a little more tv than usual.

I just feel sad thats all - probably hormones as the shouty bit lasted less than 20 seconds but my word it has ruined my day.

Missing my DH dreadfully too doesnt help.

Thanks so much i feel a bit better now. Just needed soe sensible kind words

There you go then, really not so bad. I've hurt my throat on a number of occasions .

ok thanks ladies have a good evening am off for a bath and an early night

hope you sleep well :)

What girders just said .

(I'm lovely really, just pushed to the limit at weekends by my small people).

Meglet, a nice bubbly bath / chocolate is hereby prescribed for you too. I'd suggest wine, but not if you're on your own perhaps.

In my own defence, I haven't hurt my throat by yelling in a while now. However mine are older and know how to press all my buttons . . .

I share your guilt - I always feel dreadful if I raise my voice at dd (2.5). Again, it happens rarely, but it leaves a nasty naste. But I have learned that if I apologise then it does make things better. I know some parents don't believe in apologising to their DCs, but where I've shouted and regret it, I always apologise. She knows that if she says sorry for something she's done wrong then an incident is put away and forgotten, so I try to do the same.

I've also mad my throat hurt on occasion but as long as it's not all day everyday, I think that we tend to remember it (and feel guilty) for faaaaar longer than children do.