constant dinner time battle ends in tears

[bagpussinbootsmice]

dd2 who is 26 months and I have a constant battle at dinnertimes. It happens usually in the evenings when she waits at the table for her dinner because she's hungry - then when it's put in front of her eats about 3 mouthfuls then has a paddy and won't eat anymore.... have tried the time-out thing - in the end I just get cross and I know I shouldn't...
tonight I have gotten really cross with her - she's crying I've been crying... and I've told her she won't have any milk before bedtime.

I know I should be handling it a bit more calmly, but she's not a good eater anyway, and I get so frustrated having cooked then she won't eat. She just starts crying at dinnertime and then asks for milk.... which is what she does when she's tired/upset etc..

I have even cut out afternoon snacks so she must be hungry! Help me before I go mad!

I am just doing tea with that usual sinking feeling in my stomach, and read this thread while the veggies are cooking. We all seem to be in roughly the same position so I shall carry on with a smile on my face (and a glass of wine in my hand) as DD seems to be quite normal. Just don't ask why I am cooking so late tonight, that's another stress altogether!

glad i'm not the only one having this battle. My dd refuses to eat any veg except the odd carrot and a few peas. she used to eat bannannas, grapes,pear, melon. Now the only fruit she'll eat are sultanas.

Sometimes i get really stressed, she only weighs 23 llbs and is three in Jan. HV is going to do height and weight in Jan just to check her she has always been on the bottom centile line, and tbh i think if she wasn't then i wouldnt be so paranoid about what she eats. She will eat endless amounts of rubbish mind you

Mealtimes are usually torture in our house. Between fighting, slow and/or messy eating, me having to feed ds aged 4, who is soo skinny, and constant repitition of 'Chew faster,' 'Put your knees down,' 'Don't look at him then!' 'Finish half then you can have a drink' etc etc, I hate it

it is so reassuring to read all these messages and to know I am not alone! it seems we are all worried and hate mealtimes and the battles they bring.

I am making a conscious effort to not get stressed at mealtimes now following this thread.

This is all sounding so familiar. My DD who is 29 months eats hardly anything. She weighs just over 10kg and is literally skin and bone. She has always been a snacker, right from the start would only breastfeed for 10 minutes or so at a time. She's also always been fussy and is going through a stage of only eating pasta with red pesto, scrambled egg, breadsticks and houmous, toast or cereal. Oh and of course any amount of yogurt, crisps, cake etc if I let her.

The last two times she ate a decent amount of pasta, her stomach rebelled because it wasn't used to having such a lot of food in it and she vomited it all up again!!

I've taken her to the doctors and they weren't much help (our health visitor is as much help as a chocolate teapot) but said they'd review in a month and then refer us (not sure to whom though). It's so stressing and worrying.
I've got 9 month old twins as well so I just haven't got time to spend hours preparing meals for her just to throw them away. I have a feeling it's all a psychological battle between us now, but I don't know how to solve it...tried sticker charts and she understands but when she won't eat, there's nothing on earth that will change her mind.