I have just shouted at DS that I'm going to push him into the fish pond. I didn't actually do it, but still, the neighbours could definitely hear me and might well be on the phone to SS by now.
He is supposed to feed the terrapins while DH is away this week. He forgot to do it last night so I told him to do it quickly before school. We have to put the food on the rocks in the middle so the fish don't eat it, and this involves him actually getting into the water. So the school bus is outside the door with all other kids on it, and DS is still prancing around in full UV swimwear, making excuses about why he can't go into the pond. I got a bit stressed, and the above came out of my mouth.
DD shouted from the bus "Mummy, if you push him in he will fall and bang his head on the rocks and die!!!" Long pause....and then I replied "Well, he'd better hurry up and do as he's told then."
Not one of our better mornings. They are at school now and I feel bad. I was just looking at photos on fb of my pregnant friend and thinking how excited they are for their baby and how you would never think you will get so annoyed with your dcs and have such awful parenting moments. I'm not the only one, am I?