Am I a Bad mum??

[Creole]

My DS just does not listen - I'll really appreciate your help on how to get him to listen more during the holidays.

This morning I had to ask him a thousand times to eat his breakfast. In the end I got mad and shouted so loud I'm sure the neighbours heard. Basically, he wants to do his own thing first before he does as he's told (there is nothing worng with his hearing).

How can I get him to listen and do as he's told without having to shout and sound threatening?

He is 4.9

HELP, this has been going on for the past few years. I thought has he gets older things will improve.

HELP!!

my ds is nearly 12 and it is nag nag nag to gt him to do things he should do by rote every morning.
We set up a strike chart
pocket money at satrt of week £2.00
7.5 p strike for
not washing, brushing teeth in morning without being asked. gentle reminders at first.
Also we have brought it in for not making bed adn putting clothes in the wash

We also fine him 10p for lights beinf left on and this miraculously stopped overnight!!!

Now instead of shouting we just strike him on the chalk board and his organisation has got better and better over the last 6 mths
You do have to bite your tongue
WE recently went through a toothbrushign thing where he lied about doing them
I threw his advent calendar out, made him cheese sandwiches and milk for lunch.
Told him he was free to never brush his teeth agian, but he'd be getting NO suagr.
Bingo.....
I have to play tough - he's an angel most of the time, but I go amd uring and nagging him, so its as much for me as for him.

tell him what you want him to do, be clear and make sure he's heard you. if he ignores you or plays up, give him a warning (time-out, take toy away...). if he still ignores, carry out your warning.

that's how it's supposed to work in theory, but i still end up shouting at DD a lot

I have tried the time-out bit but to no avail.

It's soo frustrating and I get really mad.

He's old enough for a star chart. Have you tried one?

i've started using the pasta jar idea that people have talked about on here. it's working a lot better than a stickerchart.

What's the pasta jar ? I think I may need some help with my dd ...

I believe you put in a pasta for good behaviour and take one out for bad behaviour - is that right?

I think I may try that as the star chart thingy doesn't seem to work.

Creole my ds was the same, wouldnt listen

so invented a game for him to play
I say to him for example
how many seconds will it take you to put your shoes away
and then start counting out loud for them to hear you

ds found this fun, and tries to be quicker every time
and I found it easy to do things like get dressed, shoes etc

he asked his dad once
how long will it take you to make me a butty
we were ROFL

LOL LOL LOL doormat at the butty

Lol doormat.

dish smaller breakfast. no telly in the mornings as a rule for everyone or games or computers. when finished breakfast onto washing face brushing teeth getting dressed etc.

if he leaves breakfast - there is nothing else to do except the above. nothing else to eat til dinner

get him to help chose the breakfast if you can afford it - or give him a limit - like i can spend £1.50 on breakfast cereal - go chose.

I use '1 2 3 Magic' by Thomas Phelan. Effective discipline for 2 - 12's. Used it with both mine. But I say doesn't really work until they are about 3 1/2 IMO.

Worked excellent. Cuts out argueing. Have to be strong though and do it properly or it doesn't work.
I now don't have to use it alot but as soon as things start to slide I just have to hold up one finger and say 'One' and wow, they soon tow the line! They are 5 and 8.