Tips for a fourth child

[PJA]

We are expecting our fourth child in April '06. The other 3 will be 6,4 and 2 (Boy then 2 girls).

Can anyone offer any tips for dealing with a fourth child and the other children.

(My specific concerns are the others feeling rejected/ignored, bad behaviour, possible bullying etc).

Up to now all 3 have been "usual" children with no particular problems aside from the normal stuff!

Many Thanks.

I have 4 children and they were a similar age to yours when No 4 was born: 6, 5, and a month off 3 (2 boys and a girl). No 4 was a boy.

To be honest with you, there weren't any difficulties at all with No 4 being accepted, and certainly no bullying: all my other children were very protective of the baby. Of course, they had to adapt to having less time with me, but I kept that to a minimum. I breast fed the baby and was very adept at doing that whilst doing other things too (even cooking dinner!) and I also left the baby more than I would have done the oldest child, because you have to and the baby doesn't really mind being left. It made him far more independent in many ways than my oldest boy will ever be!

The only trouble I ever had when I had a baby was when I had No3 (a girl) as she put No 2's nose out of joint. He was only 2 and very much my darling little boy. He still resents not being the youngest and he is now 8! I think having children with a 2 year age gap can be hard as it seems to be that at 2 a child is not ready to share their mum with a new baby: any younger and they don't mind, any older, and they feel proud to be an older sibling, but 2 is a bad age.

When you say your third child is 2, do you mean just 2 (in which case you might have problems with that one) or do you mean, like my third child was, nearly 3?

not sure I have any great tips, as my fourth is due anyday now. but wanted to say hello to other mummies of four
I have quite a large gap inbetween child 2&3, and this number four is going to be child number 3's playmate.... its almost like 2 sperate families age range wise, but they all get one and love each other.
I hope your fourth fits in without any hassles......

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ok...thanx for letting me post!

p.s.... i have 3 boys...always wanted 4....and decided 3 is enough....but only cos 2 are autistic...and believe the 3rd is too.....BUT....if i got pregnant....i would not be worried at all about the 'sibling' rivalry.... as i NEVER had any jealosy etc...my advice is keep the others involved...as soon as pos...get them to put bsby things swy ready for the birth...and if room sharing.... do that way before the birth....put cot in place....eason being....by the time babe arrives they will almost be used to it being there etc! also...if breastfeeding... make it a 'quality' time for all.... special video...special snacks....even applies to bottle feeding...and in that case can let kids help make up bottles....sterilise....even help feed....

hope that helps!

My 4th (another ds) is due in 3 (-5!) weeks so I'll let you know! Perhaps we could start a 4th child club? Mine are ds1 - 11, ds2 - 9 and dd - 7 so quite a big gap for this one. I've never had any real problems with any of them, I think the more you have, the more used and accepting of other kids they are. DD little madam though, quite glad this one is a boy which should put her nose less out of joint! My nearest sister was 7 when I was born and she's never q1uite got over it.

Good idea about the club. I've got ds1 (8), dd1 (6), ds2 (3), dd2 (9 weeks). It is pretty hectic but I found it harder going from 2 to 3 - well so far anyway! Perhaps I've just got used to the chaos. I try to include them as much as possible particularly the 3 year old, who was wetting his pants, but is getting back to normal now. I'd love to hear any tips too as I'm only just getting used to it all.

Good luck dramaqueen .

No real advice as I had no.3 and no.4 together, but wanted to say hello to all the other mummies of four!

My dd was 2 when ds was born and was fine, but ds was nearly 3, and she was 5, when the dts were born and that was really hard. I guess it was worse cos they're dts tho. Things did settle down pretty quickly, I jsut had to make an effort to spend time with the older two, and now the babies are gettign older it gets better.

I have 4 too! 12,9, 7 and 14 mths. WHen it's good its great, when it's bad I am near suicide

i have 4, with the same age gaps as yours (boy then 3 girls). no tips really - dd3 is only 11 months now. I did have big difficulties with dd2 when dd3 was born (dd2 was 22 months) and she is still very jealous of dd3. My eldest is largely oblivous to the baby and dd1 adores her.

Thanks to everyone for their posts.

I can't imagine having 4 will be that different to having 3. The eldest is more or less self-sufficient (dressing, toilet, etc) and number 2 is getting more so. I'll just have to up the work rate for a while in the first few months.
Above all the hard work I'm sure it's going to be great having 4 and some of the tips are very useful.

4 is really no different to 3 and I keep telling dh that 5 will be no different to 4 but he won't believe me

I have 4 aged 10, twins are 6 and 4th is 2.5. Would love a 5th but it would mean moving house etc... so dh says no