If someone told you they had been offered a place on a ........

[NutcrackingXmas]

Positive parenting course, and you knew their child had had a couple of sessions with a psych, what would you honestly think ??

Honestly? I'd really, really admire them. I would. I'd think they really cared about their kid and wanted the best for them and were open and self-aware enough and honest enough to do whatever it took. I truly mean this from my heart. I read a lot of parenting books and don't see this as any different. I also have had my ds seen by lots of experts to sort out his problems with movement and socialisation and don't feel any shame about that - in fact, I'm proud of it.

I'd think they were having a difficult time but that they were to be admired for wanting to do whatever they could to make things better.

My BIL and SIL went on a parenting course - I felt it was probably a good thing for them to do.

Agree with thecattleareALOHing

I agree

It's really brave to say "I need help" and then to accep it

Feel strongly that taking action rather than sticking my head in the sand is the right way to be - so totally approve and would support them

I was elated about it at first as I had asked for help with dd's behaviour several times, but peoples responses so far have made me wish I hadn't old them.

No one has actually said anything but you can tell by the look on their face that they don't think it is a good thing and certainly not something to be telling other people about.

I must add, i wasn't told i needed to go on the course. I said I was having trouble with dd and had come to a complete stop and she said the place was there if i wanted it.

I just think people are now thinking that I must be a really bad parent to be ending up doing this.

Then they are stupid and should probably be on a course themselves. Truly. Take no notice.
I think it's fantastic and really admire you. I'd do the same in your position.

def a great thing to do imo.

it's not like babies/kids come with instructions huh?! esp tough cases, eg kids with problems. i'd need all the help i could get if it were me.

good for them

I can't see why it would make you a bad parent to want to do the best you can for your child. I'd say it made you a good parent, and anyone who would judge you badly for it then it's probably because they smugly believe that they would never need any help with their parenting. When in fact sometimes we all need help.

I think it can only be a good thing for you.

ahhh, too slow me

then, good for you nutcracker!
hope you get whatever answers/solutions/strategies you need.

Thankyou very much, was starting to feel quite fed up about it.

My main reason for doing it is because I have had behavioral probs with dd2 since I can remember. I know she is fine at school, and so I know that some of the problem obviously lies with me, as I try t keep the peace a bit too much and dd ends up getting away with murder.
I just want help with difusing potential situations before they arise and different techniques for dealing with her when she completely blows up.

The psych was full of praise with the way I have helped dd handle her handwashing and has discharged her, with the option of us going back if we need to.

Feel like I need a sticker 'i'm not a bad mom, i just care'.

have this instead!

Thanks

Feb can't come quick enough.

Good for you nutty and hope it works well for you and dd.

Thankyou

Those parenting courses can be fab. I went on one when I was working as a nanny and got so much from it. I have been trying to get on one again recently as a refresher but can't get one to fit in with our schedule.

I think it's great that you're motivated to change things - a bad mom wouldn't dedicate the time and effort to doing something about her family's problems.

Thankyou too

modern parenting is much more evidence-based, with input from clinical psychologists. It's a mile away from the 'children must be seen and not heard' parenting that we were brought up with. I think every parent would benefit from a positive parenting course. I personally would jump at the chance!

Lucky you! Don't forget to pass us on any top tips!

I don't see how anyone can see this is a negative thing - it's all good surely! If people want to turn their nose up at you, let them. If that's the sort of person they are, they are not the sort of person you need to worry about.

I think it's great nutty

What a great idea, go for it.

Gold Star on the chart from me, too, Nutty!

Drives me mad the way people see a bit of professional help as a threat or something to be ashamed of. Do they feel the same about dentists or car mechanics? of course not - when you need a bit of help beyond DIY the sensible mature grown-up, and where children are concerned, CARING thing to do is to get it.

Good for you. Your kids will grow up to be a credit to you, the kids of sneery doubters will tell a different story!

Oh nutty they're just idiots.

I think part of the problem is the stigmatising of parenting courses by the government going on about putting ASBO parents on to them, and thus putting normal people off. When I told people I was doing a parenting course, I got the same raised eyebrows as you - people sort of assumed that because I was a lone parent, SS or the police or someone had told me to go on them.

It would be funny if it wasn't so damaging, because I've got enough confidence to find people's responses amusing (especially when I told them I had to pay for them!) but I'm sure a lot of people who would consider going on them and would benefit from them, are put off by that sort of reaction. Never mind, you know you're doing the right thing, and you'll probably make some really good friends on the course - people like you who aren't afraid to be honest and have enough humour and courage to talk about their children's behaviour to other people and to support other parents whom they also don't expect to be perfect. You'll have a great time, they're really enjoyable (a bit like a Mumsnet session)!

I would be fascinated and would want to know every detail with the hope of learning something - probably an equally annoying response! Hope it goes well.

positive parenting I think is fabulous and I would think good for them.
re the appointment with a psych, well if you were telling me I would probably realise why because presumably you would have told me some background already
god forbid that there should be any shame in it in this day and age.

Our local college actually run a 4 week course on this kind of thing.

It used to be for people working in childcare, but they started an extra one for parents as they were so eager to attend the prof one.