I am in an absolute anxiety paralysis about DD starting Primary, I can't cope with it any more

[ScarlettIsWalking]

OK I have one DD just started at an independent (v academic slant. great results) school for 2 weeks, she came down with a nasty cold over the WK and has had to have today off and somehow this has triggered a massive panic for me.

I am v happy to have just DD and have no desire whatsoever for another baby so it's really not that I want to "baby" her or keep her at home, I have enjoyed our time together and thought she was ready for this, having been to pre-school for 2 yrs. However I really feel that I have made the wrong decision in sending her to school so early. It's crazy.

It is so full-on; full-time from first week and very busy and I just think she is drained. V pale and confused at the whole thing but coping well enough. But I don't just want her to "cope". We chose the school overall because of the pastoral care for the students and great reputation. Also DD seemed to love it at the assessment days and we got such a positive vibe.

I can't believe I am almost in tears here, dreaming about moving to another country where they start at 6 or even HE, lamenting a more relaxed attitude for my DD. The thing is she isn't complaining or screaming that she hates it. It's just this kind of gut feeling of mine that it is too rigid - the uniforms, coffee mornings, all the party invites that seem de rigeur already when I just want her to relax on the WK. I wish I had chosen a different path for her. The independent thing is not my or DH's background or something we felt strongly about, we looked at a lot of schools and just liked this one, so not sure if that has anything to do with the overall experience I'm having.

I would love to hear from more experienced Mums as to what I should do, if anything. Should I voice my concerns to the school so soon? I don't really have anything to complain about as such other that I feel my child needs to wait another year to physically and mentally cope with this experience. I just want to run away somewhere with my family and start again.
Sorry for rambling. I a so emotional about this.

oh God yes. School is enough - when she is bouncing out of school full of beans and begging to do some activity is the time to begin considering it.

Good luck with it OP. Don't rush DD back until she is well enough, and hopefully in a few months this phase will be a distant memory.

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Hi. Another one here with a reception child, who is absolutely shattered. He us my youngest, and I honestly thought he would take it in his stride, as he is quite laid back. He is loving it, but was in tears on Friday afternoon, as he was exhausted.

I agree with the advice above - give it time, cut all other social stuff right back (I have declined all playdates etc for time being), and don't worry about the coffee mornings etc.

Oh, and we all gave horrid colds too. Our nurse advised me to double the dose of our inhalers for both me and DS2 at the end of august, to be prepared for the inevitable September colds!

Hi there, I sent dc1 to an independent school for reception and felt I'd made a huge mistake so I changed schools to a state school with a great reputation and outstanding Ofsted. I was sure I wanted to educate privately as an academic and thought the smaller classes were the way forward. I was wrong. The emphasis was on pleasing the parents mainly and I personally found it all very false (move so now I reflect on it). It was not for us or more importantly our dcs. Although everyone is different and plenty benefit from schooling in this way. Best wishes

"They certainly didn't have to sit still at tables or do homework or anything insane like that."

Serious?

Don't panic just yet OP. Give her time to get better and a few more weeks to settle before you make any decisions. School is very overwhelming for both DCs and us parents and it takes time to adjust to it all. In a few months you will learn to ignore half what goes on and worry a lot less ( it took me ages to master this)! My DD2 also 4 has just started reception full time and she is just about coping with the busy days. Having been through it all before I'm happy to be a lot wiser and less stressed this time round. I just make sure she eats and sleeps well, dont fuss too much about homework and deffinatley no after school clubs or play dates in the week. I think you'll find lots of parents are feeling just like you and I hope you both settle in soon :)

Thank you guys - she seemed to have a good day today, although some tears before tea she seemed to settle before bedtime quite nicely. I have put a note in her Teachers contact book about a good time to talk about some concerns. I have questions that may seem silly but I want to know to put my mind at rest. Will give it until half term then re-assess.