How to stop children coming into our bed in the night?

[noisymonkiesmum]

Feeling very sleep deprived! DS2 (age 2) takes an hour of screaming to go to sleep at night and then wakes by midnight to start again. After settling him for half hour, he repeats an hour later so I end up letting him in our bed just to get some sleep. Meanwhile DD (age 4) gets out of bed and comes up for a cuddle, return her to her bed, settle for half hour and she repeats an hour later. If I leave them to scream, they wake DS1 up so everyone tired and grumpy by morning only to repeat the next night.

I feel this is a vicious circle and everyone is getting more and more tired and more and more grumpy and difficult in the day. Even had DS1 sobbing in playground today not wanting to go to school which is a first. In need of help!

What seeker said. Our bed is now definitely not about sex, but about cuddles, soothing, being a family and snuggling down. However, I now can't look at the sofa bed in the spare room without getting rude thoughts!

In answer to the OP, I have heard a few parents who have had success by putting up a small camp bed next to the main bed and telling the children if they come in the night they have to sleep in there, next to mummy and daddy.

I'm not sure how you can remove the negative sleep/bed associations which are causing the screaming. Can you sacrifice a few evenings to cuddle to sleep and make bedtime a positive experience again?

Seeker, I was not assuming anything !

I said it would be interesting to KNOW what husbands/partners thought about it !

You appear to have chosen to feel insulted when there was no insult !

BTW - If a man does not relish the idea of a child in the bed all/most of the night - it does not mean he does not enjoy a snuggle with his children !
Also,.. just because parenting may be discussed - it does not mean that both are happy with the outcome !

If you weren't making assumptions, you wouldn't have asked what dps/husbands think about it!

Is there something wrong with you ??
If I was making assumptions I wouldn't WONDER what husbands/partners thought !
I think it would be interesting to know whether both parents agree on whatever is going on.
I think YOU are ASSUMING that parents are always in agreement.
How on earth can asking the question be assuming ?

Do you find anything you do not like as 'insulting' ??

grin nope, nothing wrong with me. And i'm not insulted bY disagreement. But anyone reading your post would have to be very unintelligent indeed to not spot the fact that you are asking what men think of bed sharing and recounting the story of a man you know doesn't like it and wants to be firmer with "the kiddies". Not a big step from that to the conclusion that are assuming that bed sharing is something that mothers impose on fathers and which fathers would prefer not to do.

You seem to read a lot of what was not said or implied into my post !

ANYONE reading my post would spot the 'FACT' ?? - The fact that you have imagined ?? - If they do not spot this made up 'fact' of yours - they are not intelligent ?

In view of my friends experience - I wondered how common or rare this must be.

Methinks your reaction hints of conflict in this area in your own life - as you appear to be very, very touchy on this subject.

What a bizarre response! Oh well, I suppose it might be a problem for people who only ever have sex in bed........luckily we're a bit more adventurous!

Going OT, this is the first time my husband has coslept. (He has 6 grown up children.) We started off with him saying we would cosleep to 6 months, then he said "We'll cosleep to a year", then it was "We'll cosleep until she's 2", then it was "Maybe we should keep her in with us until she's 3" and so on . . . . . . some daddies love cosleeping.

Seeker,.. seriously, you have problems. My response was totally rational and logical to the nonsense you have written.

Worldgonecrazy,...Thats what is interesting ! - Its lovely when both parents agree either way. My husband loved having the children in bed with us even though my son used to insist on ending up lying across the bed, which meant we both teetered over each side/edge !