have put favourite pen in the bin and i now feel rotten

[jinglinggoblin]

ds was told if he got pen on the floor the pen would go in the bin. he did and it has. he is very upset, and is now on the naughty step kicking the wall and screaming his head off. he is nearly 7 so understands this. do you put things in the bin? can someone make me feel better please or tell me if im wrong, whichever - would prefer the first option tho! i need to know im not the evil witch ds is telling me i am. also need somwething to stop me going back to the naughty step and shouting at him

If he has a good afternoon I would have a chat with him before bed when you are both calm and explain that you got the rule wrong. Then I'd tell him that the new rule is that he can only draw at the table because the floor marks so easily and give the pen back.

Agree that usually it's best to follow through but it sounds like he's one of those kids who gets really absorbed in what he's doing and finds it difficult to be careful at the same time! While he obviously does need to learn to be more careful, I think it's a bit unfair to continue the punishment when there's an element of "can't" rather than "won't".

yes, I agree with Scummy. Better to set rules up so children will get them right. Requires the ability to see into the future what the next likely thing to happen is.

good to read all these comments. i have decided that from now on he will not be allowed pens near the floor, and i will talk to him tonight and say that if he can behave til the end of the week he can have it back, more because of the way he behaved after the event than anything else

i didnt actually say it in anger, i said it when he said he wanted to draw on the floor because i thought it would mean he would be more careful, and i honestly thought he would be, its not like i wanted to get rid of it! he is actually the opposite of totally absorbed in what he is doing, he is usually doing several things at once and tends to forget to kep his mind in one place. i should have thought more carefully really, but im not on top form today.

thanks again

It's best to stick to it once you've said it as he will think you'll soften over other things in the future. Easier said than done though and I should really take my own advice .

My two were jumping all over the sofa yesterday after repeatedly being told not to and I ended up yelling "Right, there will be no christmas presents and no christmas food in this house as we will buying a new sofa. Beans on toast for christmas dinner". Hardly something I'm going to follow through with . Or maybe I should - much cheaper

mine would be thrilled with beans on toast rather than roast dinner!

my mum always used to tell me if i wasnt good she would take me to the childrens home and they only ever got jam sandwiches to eat there. you would have thought she would choose something other than my favourite food to threaten me with! i was so disappointed when she told me she didnt mean it