at what age would you let a child do very basic cooking while you are out?

[Hatwoman]

some nights we have a bit of a tea time rush. I have to leave to pick dd2 up at 7.30, we get back at 8.30, and then we have dinner. I get dinner as ready as possible before i leave - but there's always at least 10 minutes while, for example, the rice and veg cook - making an already late dinner even later. dd1 -age 11/y7 (who stays at home while I pick up dd2) suggested I leave her instructions to turn things on and have it ready when we walk in the door at 8.30. I'm quite laid back in many respects - but boiling water and gas hobs (without adults present) worry me. It was great of her to offer and I know she'll be insulted if I basically say I can't trust her. what do you think?

I wouldn't let an 11 year old cook while I'm not there. Mind you DD2 managed to set a wooden spoon on fire when she wad 18 and yes she had cooked plenty of times before that.

So how old do you have to be before you're allowed to cook?

well my eldest cooks when i am not in, if i am going to be late i will txt him and ask him to turn the oven on, peel some veg and get it boiling etc.

he will make himself soup, beans on toast, cheese on toast etc.

he is 12 and has been cooking and helping etc from a young age and in the last year or so has been doing the above.

My 9yo DS makes at least one main meal for the family every week, usually pasta and sauce or something heated in the oven. We don't usually stand in the room with him as he cooks, but help him if he asks. I would envisage by the time he is 11 he should be able to cook without me in the house.
My 7yo DD makes a lovely ratatouille from scratch, picking veg from the garden and chopping it herself (I do watch her chopping and using the hob though).
Children can often do more than expected, and if OPs DD is asking, she is most likely ready for the responsibility. Talk to her about dishes she would like to try, building up the range and complexity of the things she can cook gradually to build her confidence and your trust in her.

It depends on the 11yr old. I would make sure that they had cooked plenty of meals while I was in the house first. If they are sensible and experienced then I wouldn't have a problem.

I was cooking dinner for my family when I was 11. I think you DD will be fine if she has instructions to follow. What a lovely girl :)

Most 11yr olds are fully capable of cooking a meal. If it new to them then I wouldn't, but if they have been doing it since they were 9/10yrs then you could leave them.

I'm interested in this. Have a DS - 9 who would like to make a cup of tea in bed for us (yipee ) but am worried about him dealing with the kettle. Maybe am more nervous as I scalded my own hand quite badly when about 11 by tipping a cup of tea over it accidentally.

What age is ok for handling hot stuff unsupervised? He can do toast but is a bit clumsy generally and liable to spill milk etc when pouring it over cereal from big 1 liter container.

I'm nervous around gas hobs that need to be lit with a match, but if they turn on automatically it seems fine. Likewise I wouldn't allow anything with hot oil.

I'd let her do it a few times with you in the house but not standing over her and see how you feel about it, and then I think it'd be alright. Go through some basic 'this is what to do if a fire happens' stuff if you haven't already.

I used to take my parents tea in bed when I was 9yrs. I would never discourage a DC who wanted to do it.

claudia, I would practice with him a couple of time so that he can make the tea to your taste knows what to do in case he scalds himself.

I agree that some sessions when you're in the house but in a different room would be good. It's great that she's asking and it's a brilliant skill to have. I wish I did more cooking with my mum. Then you can go through possible scenarios with her (e.g gas doesn't light).

My kids have been making me cups of tea since they were about 7. I watched them at first, and they are only allowed to make me 2/3 of a cup in case they spill.
(goes back to sit on the "bad mother" naughty step)

Promote yourself to the 'good mother' step.

I was making full roast dinners on my own at 12. I was home alone as well. I have often wondered if it was wrong but I ended up very independent and able to cook when I left home at 17 unlike my friends who couldn't cope with being on their own and having to do stuff.

Gas hobs are tricky... it would different if you were on Electric.

I would probably let DS1 (also y7) do this with much practice, maybe a few instructions about the fire extinguishers, and further lectures & maybe a phone call or two :).

We have electric hob & I am already okay with him making fry-ups on his own. He doesn't use the grill or oven, and we just aren't used to gas any more.

Gas hobs in general might be tricky, but your own gas hob that you have been presumably been helping cook on since you were tiny isn't!

I don't think it's that simple, Seeker.
Most gas hobs just have more scope for something to go pear-shaped than most electric hobs (plenty of exceptions, I set my electric grill on fire a few years ago...).
So there just is more to think about.
I think OP got her answer, though, that it may well be reasonable but only she knows the exact safety considerations with her particular cooker set up and what her child is like.
Biggest risk with my DC would be them wondering off and letting the lot burn to a crisp.
This sort of situation I tend to talk thru a bunch of scenarios with my DC, "what should you do if..." and then hopefully they'd have enough ideas stored in their head how to cope if something goes wrong.

yes OP got her answer! then she got bored with the fact that the thread seemed (for some people ) to have turned into an opportunity to show off their superior parenting skills. heigh ho. [with many thanks to the many contributions that have been constructive, thoughtful and helpful]

I'm not sure if that was aimed at me, but I assure you I have no superior parenting skills, my kids enjoy cooking and I had the time and opportunity to let them build their skills gradually. IMHO hob cooking is more risky than oven cooking. When I went back to work I started DH (yes, DH) off with pre-prepared things like cottage pie so he could turn on the oven at a specified time and temperature. I built up to more complicated cooking from there.
I use a whiteboard in the kitchen to write what needs doing when, and leave measured ingredients out in pans etc.
I hope I'm helping, would hate to think I am gloating.

Wow, Hatwoman- you really know how to win friends and influence people, don't you!

no inmysparetime it wasnt

sorry seeker, maybe it's my reading. It was the first post that got my back up. I said, "dd hasn't done x yet. do you think she should" and you said "if I had raised a child who couldn't do x I'd consider myself a failure". That implies either that I am a failure or that you have higher standards than me. and, again, maybe it's my (mis)reading but little things like "threads like this" "your worries" and your question about what age is it ok to cook bugged me a bit. maybe you didn't mean anything by it but your style/tone is a bit blunt.Your posts contrasted with many other helpful ones the tone of which acknowledged my question wasn't daft and my parenting not off the wall.

I don't think my post of 11.11 is going to alienate anyone.

fwiw I am at the high end of risk-taking when it comes to my children. They have been left alone from an early age, gone out on their own from an early age, and regularly partake in a frankly stupid sport which makes my toes curl.