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Parenting

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Original poster

at what age can you leave them unattended in the bath?

74 replies

grumplestilskin · 07/09/2011 19:56

when is it okay to pop in and out and just keep an eye rather than always be in there with them and never leave them along in the bath for a second?
thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

kenobi · 08/09/2011 13:19

I left 6 mo DD in the bath to grab the towel on the back of the door in the room next door, so was away for probably 5-6 seconds. Seeing her panicked face under the water was spine-chilling. Even though she was absolutely fine (her no-breathe reflex kicked in) it frightened the hell out of her and it took her a long time to calm down afterwards.

I have no defence, I was just cutting corners because I was getting married in 3 days and had a million things to do.

One of the worst moments of my life. DD is now 21 mo and only now will I pop out and grab the towel if I've forgotten it, but it makes my palms sweaty with anxiety.
It's unlikely that they will go under BUT baths sides are insanely slippery and there's nothing for a toddler to grab onto if they do. It doesn't matter that they can move around freely sit up brilliantly etc, once they're under, they're under and they're not going to be able to get themselves out without help. Even if they don't drown, you are going to have a shitty evening with a frightened child who refuses to have a bath the next night.

So I'm thinking 15 before you leave them totally unsupervised

MrsGravy · 08/09/2011 13:20

Mine were 3 when I left them alone to just pop into my bedroom next door or run downstairs to grab the phone and come straight back up with it. I wouldn't have left them before that.

My best friend's little boy nearly died in the bath at around 18 months old when his dad when downstairs to do something. He came back up and the child was face down in the water and had stopped breathing. Luckily he was able to resusitate him but it was absolutely horrific for them.

And nope, you don't leave them early just because you have more than one child. My 3rd child is 1 and has never, and would never, be left alone in the bath.

OvO · 08/09/2011 13:25

My DS1 is 6 and it was this year I started leaving him properly. I still lurk in my bedroom to keep an eye out without him knowing.

I'm not a stressy parent at all but he does muck about a lot still and could easy bash his head and slip under.

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baabaapinksheep · 08/09/2011 13:26

There is no correct age, if you are confident that they aren't going to mess around, and can hear them all the time then I don't see any problem. I've been leaving 3 year old DD1 for about a year now, I only pop into her bedroom and if I can't hear anything I check on her straight away. DD2 refuses to have baths so not a problem for her.

BeeMyBaby · 08/09/2011 13:28

I think when they can swim and hold their breath under water, so probably about 3 or 4. MY DD is 19 months old and I would never leave her alone in the bath - she nearly drowns herself even when I'm their when she's blowing bubbles into a cup and accidently sucks water in.

Catslikehats · 08/09/2011 13:37

When the youngest was about 22mths, for popping in and out, the two older Dc's always bath together and I have left them completely to it (as in off you go for a bath now) since they were about 3 & 4.

Both very water confident though.

fallingandlaughing · 08/09/2011 19:10

my mum's friends 7yo dd died in the bath when she went to answer the phone

IMO if you leave a child in the bath you need to still be talking with them etc, and even then ony once they are old enough to be sensible about not touching taps etc - I am thinking 5 or 6.

ChippingIn · 08/09/2011 19:19

Falling&laughing - that's really sad. Do you know how it happened?

I had a nightmare last night due to this thread - it was awful :(

BeaWheesht · 08/09/2011 19:36

I would never, ever, ever dream of leaving dd (11m) unattended - I might pop out and grab a towel from ds's room if it was just him in the bath - he is 4y8m. I wouldn't leave him for long though in case he fiddled with taps or tried to get out and slipped and banged his head etc.

To leave a 9mo is stupid and neglectful.

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 08/09/2011 19:50

At 9mo my DD2 slipped underwater when DH popped out to grab a towel. It was awful, she seemed fine but I had the worst night of my life googling 'dry drowning' and checking her constantly.

Now if I've forgotten the towel I either wrap them in the hand towel or carry them to the bedroom wet and giggling!

Not worth the risk, and they are 3.4 and 14 months now.

fallingandlaughing · 08/09/2011 21:29

I don't know chippingin - it was 40+ years ago. I wonder if she became unwell. My Mum told me when I was quite little and I've never forgotten.

DeepPurple · 08/09/2011 21:36

I've been wondering this myself. DD is 22 months and I've never left her yet.

9 months

DownyEmerald · 08/09/2011 21:47

About 3-4 I would pop out for towels, now (5) I will go downstairs and back quickly, but she has to be singing the whole time.

Original poster

grumplestilskin · 08/09/2011 21:59

thanks for all your replies! mine's 2.5yrs and I pop out if I've forgotten one of his bed time things, he chatters which helps! I would never do a longish task like answer the land line only stuff that is just out and back IYKWIM and its never to go off and do someting else completely, it's to get a towel or his ecezma cream so all bath/bed related. I feel a little anxious and guilty while I do it but I'm never gone far or for long.

9 months - no! drowning is silent! and I don't think those bath chairs make it any safer either, imagine if it toppled, then they'd have NO chance of righting themselves and their head would be stuck in the water (prob with a bad bang on the head too . The only "tool" that I think would allow me to leave a LO a bit earlier might be a sensible older sibling with them

OP posts:

plinkplonk · 09/09/2011 19:18

I think mine was 4 (possibly just under). I tell her to sing if I pop upstairs and listen to her all the time.

HopeForTheBest · 15/09/2011 22:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

CaptainNancy · 19/09/2011 15:24

DD is 5.5, and she is okay if I pop into the bedroom for her pyjamas. I wouldn't leave my 2.5yo alone though- he is a wriggly beast, and far too likely to mess around if I'm not there.

kenobi · 19/09/2011 15:31

Hopeforthebest I live in a London flat so the bathroom is weeny with no space for cupboards - I can touch the opposite walls at the same time.

DD towels live on back of the door in her bedroom.

HTH

kenobi · 19/09/2011 15:32

Also, don't the towels get sweaty and mildewy from the bath condensation if you left them in the bathroom?

headfairy · 19/09/2011 15:39

My towels are in the airing cupboard, which is in ds's bedroom next door to the bathroom.

DS is 4 and I'll leave him with his 20month old sister for less than a minute maybe to chuck dirty clothes in the laundry basket in the hall, or as everyone says to grab a clean towel/flannel etc (they always have to have a flannel each or there's war )

Shutupanddrive · 19/09/2011 20:45

Ds2 now 17 months can't be left alone for a second as he is always standing up, and has slipped under water a couple of times. I am right by the bath to grab him if this happens. I can't even sit on the loo, like I did with ds1, I kneel on the bathmat!

HopeForTheBest · 20/09/2011 13:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

Marne · 20/09/2011 13:43

I do the ironing upstairs whilst dd2 (5) has a bath, she sings and talks so if it goes quite i check on her.

seeker · 20/09/2011 13:50

Bath time is glass of wine for mummy and chat time. Think of it like twit and you won't feel the need to be doing anything else at the same time..

Runoutofideas · 20/09/2011 17:12

Mine are 6 and 4 and I still feel like I'm doing something wrong if I potter about when they're in the bath. They talk or sing to each other all the time and if one went under the water I'm pretty sure the other would yell. I wouldn't go downstairs and leave them upstairs, but I would go to fetch fresh towels, pyjamas etc. If the phone rang when they were in the bath I wouldn't answer it.

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