will I ever understand 15yos?

[kiwibella]

We have two dcs aged 4 and 15. Should I be accepting that my 15yo is her own person now and doesn't do anything with our family... or should I do what I want to and make her come with us - even some times. Hubs is off this week and I'm planning events that I think suit both girls but, it seems, they don't! I'm really missing time as a family.

Does she not want to do anything with you, or is it just most things? And if she doesn't do things with you, does she make her own plans?

My 15 yr old does her own thing the majority of the time. I give her the choice of whether she comes or not (unless it's a big family thing) and most times she won't. But sometimes she does want to do things with me or the family and that's really nice.

I agree with pointydog. Give her choice-it is unlikely that she wants to do a lot of it. She will be quite happy at home alone and let her arrange her own things with friends. I don't think that you can do much that suits a 4 yr old and a 15yr old. I found it difficult to suit a 7yr old boy and a 15yr old boy.

you are both right. She has a choice but mostly makes her own plans with her friends. This in itself is brilliant because she can be a happy loner. I guess we need to accept our days are going to be without our big girl.

It's quite an achievement you had your dd with you until age 15!

You can also leave her at home babysitting and get out to the shops yourself.

yeah right, exotic!!! My dd is a lovely babysitter - with other people's children . She and her sister squabble like two six year olds.

PD, it is nice to be thankful for missing my girl. Great thought.