FFS why is this so hard??

[Comma2]

i sit here crying bc I can't bloody well handle my sweet, adorable and willing kids!! FFS! One is 3.5, the other 1.5 and they are the best kids in the world. The little one just.doesn't.listen right now!! In all innocence, and I know it's just that phase where they don't, but it brings out the worst in me, I really hate myself for not being able to deal better. I hate having two kids, I'm no good at it. They deserve so much better, and I am SO LAME for not doing this right, i"m just constantly mega-stressed about everything.
And on top dh is giving me the cold shoulder for not doing more in the house, the neighbors are buidling on our site of hte property, I hate our ugly house and the financial mess we are in bc of it, I have to loose weight and work out and do the basement and be nice to my f'ing mil and just broke a vase with shards everywhere and the baby drummed on my laptop with her heels bc I forgot it on the sofa and the car broke down and has to be fixed and I take soem weird meds for a weird disease I have where I can't have a drink...I have nothing left.
Sorry for venting. Just feeling sorry for myself, blech.

Poor Comma you're having a rotten time at the moment. Obviously there's no easy answer but hugs and . Stress brings out the worst in me too.

blimey, sounds like you have some long, medium and short term issues here. Short term ones (laptop, broken vase, car): sweep up shards, bin, forget; laptop - put on shelf, shut it down, forget; car (if funds available) call garage, arrange fix, or tell your DH to sort it out. Medium term (basement? building work) not much you can to about the building but if you have an ok relationship with the neighbours maybe you can ask them to co-operate a bit with very noisy work happening at agreed times? Don't know what doing the basement involves but does that have to be your job? Again, maybe something your DP could do on his weekend? Which brings me to the DP - cold shoulder for lack of housework? Does he appreciate what looking after two kids that age involves and how it can make doing anything else completely impossible? Does he ever get left on his own with them? It might help to suggest that you go out one whole day just so that he can see what its like. Giving you the cold shoulder for lack of housework is childish and twattish. And you can tell him I said so !
The other longer term issues you mention (house, finances, MIL) are the kinds of things that grate but just add to the stress when everything else goes wrong. Try to put them on the backburner while you sort out the other things. As for losing weight and exercising, try not to make it just another thing you have to do, but do easy things like not have biscuits in the house, have smaller portions, walk instead of driving (which you may have to!) etc. Anything else might be a bit much at the mo. It also sounds like you don't really know the details of your illness which is worrying and must be scary for you. Try to get the dr to make things clear so you understand what the meds are and how they work. All in all, a lot of what you've outlined COULD be helped by your DP so maybe you really need to start there. Best of luck and