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Parenting

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Original poster

Should i let me DD 20 yrs go to the Nottinghill Carnival in August?

33 replies

piano10 · 11/08/2011 11:01

Is it now safe?
With all the rioting going on should i put my foot down and insist she doesnt go?
At the end of the day , she is 20yr and i cant stop her.
Please give me your opinions mumsnetters.
Thank you!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

belindarose · 11/08/2011 11:08

I can't believe you could stop her. Talk to her about your concerns maybe? Help her think how to keep safe? But I don't have a 20 year old.

exoticfruits · 11/08/2011 11:18

This is an adult! She has been an adult for 2 yrs!
I am glad that you realise it isn't a question of 'let'. Discuss it, tell her your fears, and she will need to then make a decision.

BelleEnd · 11/08/2011 11:19

You have to be kidding me.

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AmberLeaf · 11/08/2011 11:20

If it goes ahead.

Original poster

piano10 · 11/08/2011 11:34

well, lets hope it doesnt go ahead. Yes cant stop her, as i said.
Yes i know she is an adult exoticfruits......
perhaps you misundestand...what i am trying to say is , should she go , not should i allow her....
She makes her own choices but now she is out of the teen terror from hell age she does listen to me.

OP posts:

Flisspaps · 11/08/2011 11:42

Put your foot down and stop her?

Not allow her?

She is 20 years old. Even as her mother, you have no right to stop her doing anything, whether it is dangerous or stupid in your eyes.

Tell her you're worried, but be confident that you've done a good enough job bringing her up to know that she's a sensible woman who is able to make good judgements and look after herself.

exoticfruits · 11/08/2011 11:49

perhaps you misundestand...what i am trying to say is , should she go

She is the only one who can decide. I think I know what my 20yr old would say if I said 'the collective wisdom of MN says........'!

donteatyourteawithnoknickerson · 11/08/2011 12:50

Of course she should go - part of being a parent surely is to let your children make their own decisions when they are grown. There is no more rioting now anyway (I think that's what you're referring to?).

exoticfruits · 11/08/2011 18:07

I think that everyone who was intending to go should go-otherwise you are giving into mob rule.

Awomancalledhorse · 11/08/2011 18:11

As an ex-Notting Hill resident, I'd say she's better off going on the Sunday 'family day' than the Monday.

Carnival never really 'kicks off' on the Carnival route, it's normally the surrounding areas where you get trouble (people trying to get to carnival to cause trouble).

mandoo · 11/08/2011 18:16

Yes if she wants to...she's 20

DisgustedofTumbridgeWells · 11/08/2011 18:31

Time you cut the umbilical cord I think

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 11/08/2011 18:46

If you do decide to voice your concerns you need to be very carefull. If you come across as controking (and your op does imo) you may well push her away.

halcyondays · 12/08/2011 13:15

You've answered your own question, she's 20 and you can't stop her.

colditz · 12/08/2011 13:17

I'm baffled as to how you think you could stop her ..... when my younger sister was 20, she owned the house! 20 is not a child.

Give her the facts of the situation - her decision is up to her, isn't it?

overmydeadbody · 12/08/2011 13:23

Tell her it's boring and crowded, just lots of Jerk chicken and weed smoking.

But you can't stop her going, as you know.

RoundOrangeHead · 12/08/2011 13:25

I would imagine there will be a heavy police presence this year

EssentialFattyAcid · 12/08/2011 13:31

I'm sure it will be absolutely fine and a lot of fun as per normal tbh

Mama5isalive · 12/08/2011 15:28

option -is there anyway you can also go and she can go off but link you when leaving!

I went Nott c a twice when younger never understood why my mum didnt go i went with a group of friends which just drew negative attention from other groups etc!!!!!! ( i guess we looked like a gang) i also went with my brothers - it was long and i was knacked off walking around looking for certain "sounds" and floats!!!!!! i guess when my daughter reaches 20 ( DD17) i will tell her why i would prefer her not too go( dangers have changed since my days)

I would sit down with her and discuss your concerns!

good luck!

exoticfruits · 12/08/2011 15:35

She is an adult-does she really want her mother going?! Is her mother supposed to protect her (more likely the other way around I would have thought!)

Original poster

piano10 · 12/08/2011 15:39

She has been before , so no point in telling her its boring..;she thought it was great OVERMYDEADBODY !
I am not going...... are you kidding.... I have a 10 yr old DS to look after at home.... last place i would take him at the moment....

OP posts:

Mama5isalive · 12/08/2011 15:41

her mum does not have to be holding her hand and this could be a learning curve for them both!!!!!
you could go see your worries was no needed and have peace of mind!!!!!!
i suppose asking for advice is good, but only YOU can parent YOUR own child!!!!
and you have time from now to then! hope it a positive outcome!

wahwahwah · 12/08/2011 15:43

It is going ahead aparently.

Just give her the health warning - don't get drunk, look our for weirdos and pickpockets and don't eat the goat curry (sis got terrible food poisoning!). Trouble generally kicks off later in the day.

Public transport is usually a bugger too.

madwomanintheattic · 12/08/2011 16:45

she'll be on aibu in a minute saying 'aibu to want my mother to realise i'm an adult ffs?!'

at 20 i was on military service. it wouldn't have occurred to me to give my mum a ring and ask if it was ok for me to be touting a rifle in troublespots. and i really hope my mum didn't ever think about calling me up to offer safety advice... she might have worried in private, but then that's just parenting.

ManicPanic · 12/08/2011 21:24

Bloody hell.

When I was 20, I had been living independantly for 4 years, and worked for the local council.

The very thought of any family member telling me what to do would have been met with

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