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Original poster

STILL SHAKING - JUST WON TERRIBLE MUM OF THE YEAR AWARD

25 replies

Gilli · 15/10/2003 19:55

I feel so awful about this I just have to tell someone. I picked up my 8 yr old daughter from an after school sports club tonight, and already had one of her brothers and the baby in the car. After saying hi to someone I walked back to the car, which was parked in the playground, and dd had gone ahead of me carrying her sports bag. I got in the car, which is a Chrysler with sliding doors, and pushed the button to shut the passenger door, and started the engine. I was in a hurry as the baby was hungry but that's no excuse. I spoke to my daughter without looking in the rear view mirror, and she answered me. I then put the car into reverse, and moved backwards about four feet, and braked when she shouted. To my horror, I realised that she had been standing at the tailgate when I started the engine, and had JUMPED into the boot when I put the car into reverse! I had just assumed she was in the car when she spoke, and I hadn't even turned my head to check. I feel really awful. Maybe she has a guardian angel, that's for sure. Sorry, just needed to unload.

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tinyfeet · 15/10/2003 19:59

Oh my GOD! Thank God she jumped in. These things happen all the time, well not really , but near-accidents do happen frequently. Luckily all's well.

marthamoo · 15/10/2003 19:59

Gilli, you're not a terrible Mum at all - it was an accident. But she's OK, thank goodness, so don't be too hard on yourself. Us Mums are so busy multi-tasking it's no wonder we're on auto-pilot a lot of the time. Pour yourself a glass of wine and try not to dwell on the what ifs.

marthamoo · 15/10/2003 20:00

P.S. My Dad ran over my foot once, if that helps at all

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Jenie · 15/10/2003 20:07

Don't beat yourself up about this, no one was hurt, you're not a bad mother because of this, and both you and dd will be more aware around cars in future and that can't be a bad thing.

Angiel · 15/10/2003 20:08

Years ago when me and my brothers were really young, we were always having to push my dad's car when it wouldn't start.

One morning we were all running down the road pushing the car and it suddenly burst into life, my dad drove off but unfortunately my brother had his fingers stuck round the bumper and he got dragged down the road behind the car.

It was hideous, I was running down the road screaming and luckily my dad saw me in his mirror.

Don't beat yourself up over it, it was an accident and everything turned out ok.

tinyfeet · 15/10/2003 20:08

I fell on down the stairs and on top of DD's head when she was less than 1 year old. Her mouth started to bleed, went to hospital. Luckily, she was ok. Apparently she'd bit really hard down on her tongue or something like that when I fell on her. I felt so horrible . . . but it did heal fast.

pupuce · 15/10/2003 20:41

Gilli - how awful for you..... I can imagine how very very scary this must have been...... I saw a programme on US televison about parents who ran over (and killed) their toddler - obviously it was an accident.... they just can't forgive themselves.... it is absolutely awful.
Glad it all turned out OK..... ENJOY your daugher even more
Don't beat yourself up - it can happen to anyone but it must be very scary

sunchowder · 15/10/2003 20:42

Ah Gilli, don't feel bad! I was closing the electric car windows with the drivers control button and caught my DS's neck in the window!! He is screaming MAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM, with both of his hands (all ten fingers) trying to push down on the window with his head sticking out over the topI couldn't even apologize, I started screaming what the Heell were you doing with your head sticking out of the window!! I was shaking all over, I could have strangled him. I did apologize later though. It is now a big family jokeyours is much too recent to joke about now. Feel better , okay?

motherinferior · 15/10/2003 20:46

Oh honey. I'm still shaking from not keeping a hold on dd1 the time a few weeks ago when she shouted DADDY and dashed across the road (could easily have been hit)...look, it happens. We learn and move on. Wish I could give you a hug!

Caroline5 · 15/10/2003 21:11

Oh Gilli, try not to feel too bad, these things happen to everybody in different ways. When I was a kid, my Dad shut the car boot on my head! (I was OK, I think!) This doesn't make you a terrible mum, we are all human and accidents happen. I suppose the important thing is to learn from it and then try to move on. Hugs!

happyspider · 15/10/2003 21:52

I don't know if hearing other's stories will make you feel better, but here you are mine:
my mum always tells us that when my sister was 4 and she was pg with me she(my mum) left my sister in the bath by herself for a few seconds because she was sick and had to rush outside to relieve herself. Next thing she saw was my sister head down in the the bath with her feet in the air!

My sister was fine, and my mum jokingly now says that I was causing troubles even before I was born

Original poster

Gilli · 15/10/2003 22:26

Oh sunchowder, I do somehow feel better (a bit)now and thanks everyone for support: dh has just ticked me off for being on auto pilot, but I don't think he knows how easy it is to slip into that mode when you do 300miles a week and that was my 10th journey today.... but it has made me consciously enjoy her being here after all, IYSWIM

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pupuce · 15/10/2003 22:39

Gilli - when DH is like that to me my reply is : "I feel bad enough... do you need to make me feel worse ? Some kind words would not go astray here !"

suedonim · 16/10/2003 00:01

How frightening for you both, Gilli - is your dd ok about it or is she shaken up as well? When I read of such incidents, like that 2yr old killed by his mum's car recently, I always think 'There but for the grace of God.....'. I know I've had plenty of lapses of concentration.

Maybe it will help you to know that good can come of your experience - I'll be double checking all mirrors and checking over my shoulder in future when I'm driving.

Tom · 16/10/2003 00:12

Hey - when I was about 4 yrs old, I insisted i travel in the boot of my mums car. Of she drove, and the boot door swung open and I flew out and bounced on the road... luckily there wasn't a car behind us, but I survived and had one of the best mums in the world

FairyMum · 16/10/2003 07:43

Oh, I have a couple of those awards too.....Luckily I have lots of Good Mummy -awards to make up for it. Only a couple of weeks ago I gave ds a piggy-back and he fell head first down onto the pavement. I am quite tall, so it was quiet a nasty fall. I still think about it all the time and about how it could have been so much worse

jampot · 16/10/2003 08:14

When my twin and I were little (probably about 3) mum had a new cooker and the old one was left on the patio to be disposed of. My sister and I decided to use the pull down door as a seat and next thing, mum found the two of us inside the oven!! My older sister also decided to throw me down the garden to see if I would fly!!!!

But the worst case of "...in a minute.." was when my son (aged 5 at the time) was calling me and asking for me to get his Thunderbird 3 for him. "In a minute..." I responded as I was doing something. Well in a minute, he appeared at the bottom of the stairs, and said "I've swallowed a penny and it's stuck." In fact when he was xrayed, it was a 10 pence piece. Luckily, he was fine, caused vomiting etc but eventually passed through 8 days later!!!!!!!

misdee · 16/10/2003 08:18

I have a few bad mummy awards too. the latest id for falling onto my daughter when the stairgate collasped. i sobbed for about a week after, got her checked at the hospital as the combination of me and a stairgate falling onto a 1 year old to me was very serious and scary. we were all ok, just very shaken.

monkey · 16/10/2003 09:56

gilli - that is really scary - you hear all too often parents running their kids over by reversing onto them. I'm totally paranoid about it. But you mustn't feel bad. She wasn't hurt, and you'l certainly have this stuck forever in your mind, so you can be sure it won't happen again. Don't feel bad. There isn't a single parent alive i don't think, who hasn't done anything they really regret/feel shook up about.

Original poster

Gilli · 16/10/2003 22:40

suedonim, she isn't shaken up - or so it seems - in fact I'm horrified by how cool my kids seem to be about'Mummy's driving'! Maybe I really do need to take myself in hand a bit: its very easy to become a complacent driver, or atleast that's how I feel.

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Bossanova · 16/10/2003 22:58

This must have been very scary for you Gilli. I am very impressed though that your dd had the good sense to jump in the car and not try to run away from it.
You can't be all bad as a mum then.

suedonim · 16/10/2003 23:39

I'm glad your dd is ok, Gilli - one less thing for you to worry about!

Clarinet60 · 17/10/2003 12:47

Very scary for you Gilli. Hope you feel better soon. When I was 3, my Granny & I were left in a car parked uphill when the handbrake slipped off. The car started rolling back towards a busy junction and my Granny, not being a driver, didn't even know what a handbrake was! We were rescued by someone, but I can still remember the excitement now. I thought it was a hoot. Not the same thing for you and your daughter I know, but I hope it helps to realise that you're not alone.

Cam · 17/10/2003 13:53

Gilli, my mum reversed into me when I was 9. Afraid to say she's still not a very good driver 35 plus years later!

miranda2 · 17/10/2003 14:04

I've had the awful thing of watching toddler son just run across a road when I was trying to teach him kerb drill....

My mum reversed over my foot when I was about 10! When she heard me shouting she stopped - ON IT!! I was yelling 'keep going - get off my foot!' No harm done though thank goodness.
Your daughter is obviuosly VERY on the ball - I think she gets the Best Daughter Award (so automatically you must get a Super Mother Award for bringing her up to be so quick thinking and sensible).

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