At my wits end with 2.5 year old, please some advice.

[Cookiemg]

I have reached an all time low with my 2.5 year old dd. She goads me constantly, stalls for time, kicks me and laughs at any attempts I have to discipline her. Ever since she could walk she has been extremely energetic and insists on examining every corner of everywhere we go, I am so tired of having to cajole her 100 times to get her to do anything. She's at nursery 3 days a week, I put her in 1 extra day as I didn't have enough energy to last through the week and they say that she behaves well and follows orders. The painful truth is that I don't find her easy and often just don't like her I've found myself having to move away from friendships with other mothers as their children are docile and obediant and will sit quietly when at a cafe whereas mine is constantly twisting and turning, has her feet up on the table and when she catches wind that I an angry does it all the more....in short I am embarassed by her behaviour. She is our only one and all I can see is a lifetime of this with no let up. I have found myself really shouting at her over the past two days and tonight actually made her cry and she said she wanted me to stop being angry. I feel desperate, I don't know what I am doing wrong.

Hi Cookie.. sounds a lot like my son.. BUT - I started 'naughty corner' with him when he was only 18 months old (he's now 2.75). It's one thing that genuinely works for me every time (often i just need to threaten it). If you haven't done it before, look up the instructions on supernanny or similar (and follow them to the letter!), and be prepared to have to draw on all your reserves of patience the first few times, while she gets used to the fact that you'll actually stick to this one. Oh, and if you ever threaten it, you have to go through with it - i've even done it in the middle of M&S foodhall. DH has been away for work for the last few months (while I've been first trimester pregnant, and exhausted), which has meant i lose my temper much more - and i know when i do that, rather than just calm 'naughty corner', he plays up much more...

Best of luck!

Right, stop, your a brill mum I am sure.
What are her good points: List them.

I try to be a good mum, I give a lot of myself but over the past year I can honestly say that I haven't enjoyed it. her good points are that she's very bright, articulate, sociable, pretty.

I put her in nursery when she was 7 months because I knew that she would probably be an only, I had a weird childhood where I wasn't 'allowed' friends which had a significantly detrimental affect on me and so I was very driven to socialise her...all sounds highly irrational feeling that you have to socialise an infant but there you have it! I have a feeling that this has done something to the correct order of things and she's been moulded by nursery rather than my guidance.

thank you for giving me so much help, I'm considering taking her out of nursery for half a day and catching up for lost time.

I second Mayfair, my DD is 2.5yrs too and she has had the naughty step since she was 22months. It works very well but you have to consistent every time.

I have done naughty step in restaurants, the supermarket, corners of car parks, everywhere really. Now at 2.5 yrs though I only have to give a warning 'Stop doing xxxx or you will go on the naughty step, this is your warning' and usually thats all it takes.

At first she was on the step all the time but now maybe once a week. Worth a try, though I know lots of parents don't like the idea of it, it really has worked well.