19 month old has a tantrum each time I go to wash the dishes, what do I do?

[lolalotta]

Yesterday afternoon we went to tha park, stopped off at the library for a few stories, I got in and just wanted to sit on the sofa for two mins to catch my breath and there she is demanding a story right away and then throwing a massive wobbly because I said "not now Mummy's tired" and when it came to putting her tea on and washing some dishes it started all over again, very very loud, very high pitched!!! And then again this morning whilst washing breakfast dishes and getting ready to go out! How do I handle this???? Any words of wisdom please!!!

Oh and I set her up with toys in the kitchen which doesn't seem to help...

And I really don't want to stick her in front of the telly (though I have been tempted, lol!)

Mine used to love spoons. Give her some spoons to play with.

Try to get her involved, saying you really need her help to do the dishes and just give her a kitchen towel and/or spoon.
My DD always loved helping and still does, she's 3 now.

Ignore it and her.

Either

1. Set up an activity for her to do while you do the dishes
2. Let her 'help' eg stand on a chair next to you with a small bowl of water and a wooden spoon
3. Ignore her tantrum as you can't be entertaining her every minute of the day, now or in the future

I think that a little bit of all of these is the ideal answer, and is what I have done with my own children. They are pretty good at self entertaining, unlike some of my children's friends who have been used to their mothers providing entertainment and attention on demand and making their own lives miserable in the meantime. There is a balance to be had.

Do them when she's asleep? If it's only this one job, anyway.

I used to put DS in a ring sling while doing the dishes, don't know if that's any use to you?

It sounds like when you got back from library, park etc yesterday she was hungry and tired. I'm sorry to go against the grain of this thread but she comes first - you should have got her something to eat pronto. She's 19 months old, you're an adult. When you get in and you're tired, how do you think she's feeling. Her needs come first in this instance.

I agree that you don't have to entertain her every minute, but when she has needs, they get attended to before yours, end of story.

Thanks so much for your replies, definately some things to try out!
Octavia totally see what you are saying but it's not just at teatime, it happens in the mornings too after breakfast when she's definately NOT tired and hungry...

In that case I'd let her tootle about in the garden while you wash up, maybe - for toddlers fresh air seems to resolve many issues!

I would make an effort to provide some distraction beforehand (box of raisins, bread stick, bowl of water & cloth?), and honestly if the TV works then use it, but if she is still tantrumming then I would probably just ignore as long as she is safe etc and provided it doesn't take too much time to do dishes.

At some point though they do need to learn that the world does not revolve around them or you will end up with problems further down the line. Tantrums are generally best ignored and I'm talking from experience as I pandered to DS1's every whim far too much. He still has awful tantrums now and he is 3.5yrs.