When are parents gonna start raising their own kids?

[TheOnlyNemesis]

Now, i'm not gonna lie, i'm a 20 year old and not a parent but i have some questions i want some answers for.

First i am sick of reading in the news parents wanting this that and the other done on the internet to help protect their kids. I understand we need to help protect kids but why do most parents expect others to do it for them. You always read that they want facebook to change this or google to add this, why can't you raise your own children, there are more than enough child filters out there, both server side and client side. Why aren't you buying one of these filters and installing it instead of expecting other people to filter it for you?

Second thing annoying me is video games. Everytime there is a new violent video game or shooting in a country the blame always points to the video game industry. Now i own an xbox and in 30 seconds you can set a parental filter to only allow your child to play games they are old enough for. I have read other posts on this forum about Black ops and people are saying i think 13, 14, 15 is old enough to play it...NO, the game is rated 18, unless your child is 18 they should not be playing it. I am sick of being on xbox live and having to listen to some high pitched kid playing an 18 rated game, why can't parents seem to follow this very simple LAW?

So in general why are parents always looking at others to blame for thier own failings in raising their children?

So, scaryfairy, if you can use a simple text-based messaging system on your home PC you can keep your children safe on any computer or mobile device, belonging to anyone, anywhere in the world, even if they are technology whizzes and trying to evade your restrictions?

(And that's before even considering the number of MN posters who cheerfully say "oh, I can never get the hang of links". Getting the hang of links, let's remember, involves either taking off the and putting double square brackets round it (following the simple instructions right underneath the message box) or ticking the "Convert links automatically" box.)

As said above most parents aren't quite as bad people think but back to the point as we have gone a little off topic.

An 18 rated game isn't technical at all, it is a plastic case with a disc inside, so why are parents still allowing them to have the game, they have to know they are playing it so why not just take the game off them?

And people saying about other parents etc. Yes you can't stop them from doing that but you can talk to the other parent or limit their exposure at home in the environment you do control. You all seem to be mentioning other kids can do it with my child like that is the reason why you don't do it at your own home. Your child getting an hour at a friends house is still not as bad as getting 5 hours in your home.

I think you are misunderstanding. We are all saying (at least, I think we are all saying) that we don't allow it in our own home, but that we are aware that our own home isn't the start and end of what children can access. That's why (a) sometimes some parents get uptight about material being easily available at all (very recent thread as an example -- a seven-year-old was shown clips of a horror film on YouTube by another child at a council-run play club) and (b) you are still going to get "high pitched kids" interfering with your precious xbox live sessions.

I think there is only a certain amount of contol a parent can have over content that is viewed by their children. Especially as children get older, they have other options than computers at home to access inapropriate material.

I know when I was growing up (i am 23) it was extremly easy to access things that shouldnt have been as not all parents were strict or even knew of the dangers of the internet etc.

I do agree with most of what the OP says but i dont beleive that it is realistic to assume that ALL parents know how to use filters and that their children wont figure out how to get past them if they are used.

As for 18 rated games, I totally agree that children under 18 should not be able to play these games. Many children will play these games at their friends houses which you have no control over. IMO 1 hour is just as bad as 5 hours if something is inapropriate once you have seen and experienced the violence of some of these games not to mention the bad language used over xbox live and such. But then dont beleive that teenagers will only spend 1 hour on a game even if it is at their friends house. How do parents know what their children are up to while out of their sight?

Ahhhhh always lovely to have a 20 year old lecturing.

Would love to see the long list of things "my kids will never do...", everyone with children has had one!

I agree whole heatedly with your first and subsequent few post.

You're hectoring now. What more do you want? Everybody has informed you what they do. As nobody can speak for all parents as an entire group what do you want?

FFS. heartedly

Aaaaargh Zombie thread!!!!

Bollocks.

Ok op. How much will it cost to get maximum protection on pc's? Not all parents are rich. Some parents allow their kids to play black ops. Since you don't have children you will never realise how other parents will react to a comment such as: "you do realise that's an 18 & your child is only 10?" parent would feel either ashamed, angry you said that, think you wrap your kid in cotton wool or be worried social services will be called.

I'm a 20 year old mother with a 5 year old child. Until you have kids you'll never understand how confusing it can be & frustrating to do what's best to make your child happy & safe but not get nasty comments from others.

I think you've spotted a niche oportunity, OP.

Technilogical illiterates could hire you to set up child controls on their computers, give internet safety advice etc. I have no idea about computer games as DH has banned them forever from the house (fine now the DC are 5 and 2 but I see trouble ahead!).

What an arogant little sod you are. Parentling is about much more than games and you not hearing squeaky voices.

Yes you read those things, but how many of them are true? About as many that say people your age are lazy arrogant twits.

Go away and grow up a bit.

First time poster long time reader

I think the original posters frustration has respectable foundation. Many parents do not understand technology probably because they do not have the time to understand it and are not exposed to it daily and all they see is their kids lives being taken over by something they have little understanding of. So most parents , justifiably so, make a war cry to have the 'internet companies' better police themselves for the sake of their kids.

There are laws to make sure these companies behave but they are private and ultimately about the money they can make from your kids. So they will do what they can to keep the 'law' happy and make cash. The same goes with real world stores like the well known fast food chains for example.

There are some who will not be happy to hear this but its up to parents to do this policing themselves. Its obvious what sites like Facebook are about and how much information Google will keep on you or the type of videos that are available on you tube or how violent call of duty is. But this is the way of the world now. Mobile telecoms and quasi - virtual existence is the norm. If you do not embrace it will leave you behind, and this is where most parents will fall down.

Its not unknown that your ability to learn through play diminishes as you get older and this i "just dont understand this technology" fear stems from this. A child will button bash a pc or game controler just to see what happens, an older parent will fearfully push a single button wait and probably be glad nothing has does happen. As parents you have to let go of this. You cannot purchase a games console or a computer / hand held device then hand it over to your kids and wonder what they are doing or how its affecting them. If you are not tech savvy sit with them and make them show you how it works, even play a game yourself, but the less you understand about these things the more harm you believe them to be doing. A little understanding can go a long way.

I think its a shame that mumsnet does not have a dedicated technology section.

The problem is with games is if they don't have it at home then they go to a mates house and play it. My son is 13 and I put a ban on 18 games, that was until I realised he was going out to play it every day after school at one of his many friends houses. I can't stop what goes on in their house and no matter how much I told him it made no difference.
I don't much like being told off by a 20 year old that hasn't thought her opinions through properly.
It's not easy keeping these things from them you know, especially when they are so heavily targeted by the companies that make them.
I set parental controls on his iPod too, but it only blocked rated websites. What happens when a site isn't rated? Then he can access it, how is THAT a parents fault?
I only let him save and buy one under the condition he is responsible and he gets checked up on, as with the laptop which also has parental control. These unrated sites continue to let us down and puts our kids at risk.
Please don't lecture me!

I also agree with this post :D

ZOMBIE THREAD