losing it with the kids

[bechegna]

I have 1 3.5 and a 2 yr old and at the moment seem to get very angry at them all the time and shouting at them. I really hate this and is really upsetting me. I have realised i need to get some kind of help but going to gp is not an option. And i don't want to just go to a random person off google search. Can anyone please recommend someone they have dealt with and has helped. I need to control this anger before it destroys my marriage and affect my kids!

I have the same problem so will be interested in the advice you get. I found reading "when your kids push your buttons and what you can do about it" really helpful but not an outright cure. I also think that "me" time would help but that's never happens!

I will definitely get that book. Thank you. i do get time to myself and my husband is really good with helping out. I just need to learn to not let things irritate me as much as they do and try and control this temper i seem to have developed only recently. Scaring me actually!

I can really relate to your post. When ds was a baby, well before that really but having two small dc made it obvious that it was a problem, I would go from 0-100 temper wise, seemingly unpredictably and quite unpleasantly and frequently (pretty much daily). I respect your right not to see gp, I only mention it as it was one thing I did do and she referred me for counselling and it was pivotal in turning things round. Cbt style counselling helped me get to the bottom of why I was so angry, but also gave me strategies to seal with negative thought patterns. I also read " how to talk so children will listen and listen so children will talk". I tried to work out triggers for anger, either immediate or more long term. For me they are untidiness, tiredness, hunger, lack of personal space and so I dealt with these as much as possible. Oh and feeling guilty about being a rubbish mother, which is the one the counselling and book helped with. Hope that goes some way to help. Two years on and we have a six week old dd too and I haven 't seriously lost it since she's been born, just occasional crabbiness. Have much better time with dc and people comment on what a calm person I am!! Never lost it in public, but I was always tense