Does anyone else find baby and toddler groups exhausting and stressful?

[desperatelyseekingsolutions]

Hi,
DS and I have not been to many groups together. We went to a breast feeding group and baby massage when he was younger but that's about it as I returned to work.
DS is now5mo and we have just moved into a new area. I'm on holiday from work and am due to begin maternity leave in Oct so I decided it would be a nice way to meet people and for DS to start socialising a bit more.
I have to say I have found the whole thing very stressful. I have been to three groups and only had two mums engage in any sort of conversation with me. DS has had tantrums and as I go about my way of ignoring the bad behaviour, I have had some filthy looks.
It's just so tiring chasing him round, stopping him from steeling toys from others. I don't think that at 15mo I should be worrying that he hasn't got the concept of sharing but some of the looks...
DH really wants me to persevere as he wants DS to socialise (as do I) and for me to get to meet new people, but to be honest it just feels like I'm hovering on the outside.
Is it just me??

Sometimes the more you go then you will get to know people there and enjoy it more, so i would give it a few more tries. But then if you still don't like it no need to force yourself, i would try a different group or go for the organised activities, or park trips etc, as long as you are doing something and both are fine and happy then each to their own really...
I'm sure your dh and inlaws not saying it just to undermine though, they probably do think its just a helpful suggestion? cos many people get a lot out of them and enjoy them so maybe mil is one such person and has difficulty understanding that not everyone has same opinion, so if you really dont agree just brush it off

yy they can be cliquey and boring; I came home and wept with the misery of actually having a conversation about the relative merits of Huggies v Pampers. Later had tears of joy after a chat about global warming. But dd made friends with the girl who's still her best friend (age 12). and she did get on the birthday circuit.

Oh this makes me so happy! I went to a 'stay and play' session at the local childrens' centre a couple of times with newborn and toddler after we moved to a new area, and it was hideous! I'm always feeling guilty that I don't do more stuff like this with DD because if I plan to go I spend days worrying about it beforehand and am nothing but relieved when it's over, so for my own sanity we don't go! The idea about 'classes' is definitely better - I'm going to look into it where we are.

just a thought: are there any Pikler classes in the UK? They are quite popular where I live. It's based on the concept of letting babies and toddler develop freely with adult assistance to figure out thing for themselves where possible. The mothers sit along the walls and observe their babies/children play and the "teacher" interacting and dealing with any possible conflicts. I found it helpful and educational for myself while I also met some very nice, relaxed mothers through thoe classes.

Hi DSS, don't feel bad for not enjoying them straight away, but maybe perservere/try a few different ones before writing them all off.

My DS is nearly 6 months and I started going to a couple at the beginning of June. One (an NCT run playgroup) I really liked and have subsequently made a few friends there who I meet up with outside of this group (it's now finished for the summer). Another was great for babies (massive, carpeted church hall, soley for babies, loads of toys) but I went 3 times and couldn't be arsed anymore as it was either quite cliquey (don't think intentionally, but think several groups were mums who knew each other from ante-natal classes) or there were different mums each week and I couldn't be bothered with the small talk only to not see them the next week.

I take DS to a baby sensory class each week which we both enjoy, and the same Mums are there each week, so you can have a chat, but there's no pressure as the activities/circle time keeps everyone occupied, but at the same time I feel i've got out and about and talked to people iyswim.

There will always be bitches/nutters/neurotic mums everywhere you go, so deep breath and good luck!

We moved to a new area when my dd was 16 months old. I went to maybe 6 classes before I found 2 where people did look out for those on their own. I made a fewof great friends - two lasting ones - two not long lasting ones - once our dc went in different directions - different pre-schools, then schools they didn't last.

But it was really nice to have those transient friendships at the time. I think bear with it if you can and try all sorts.

It gets easier as they get more mobile and can do more things. I made a really nice friend at a drop in craft thing at the sports centre - I really didn't expect to make friends there as it was a random drop in session but we met a couple of times and hit it off.

You never know. And once they hit two they will be demanding to go out and see people, so you have to really, to keep your sanity.

I found them easier when I had DC2 and I was beyond caring what they got up to (within reason) and was just glad to get out the house. By that point I knew a lot of the other mums and we nearly all had 2 dc's so just chilled out a bit.

I took DC1 to toddler music lessons for a couple of years, we both enjoyed it.

Went to baby massage. Hated it and have never been anywhere else.

Every baby and toddler group I've been to has been a load of bollocks and the mums were really snobby. I'd much rather spend time with real friends and family, as we have more in common than having kids the same age.

I've been struggling, one group I walked out of as they were so mean, another was mainly granparents and didn't believe in discipline. I am now on my 6th group and it's just right, most of the babies are the same age. It focuses more on mum's socialising, a few are a bit cliquey, but most are lovely and feel chilled. I am not a fan of making new friends, only 2 friends have had babies at the same time and they are a bit up their own arses and treat me and DD poorly. We also go swimming and we go to the library bounce and rhyme. I have to drive to get to groups etc so I persevered with trying groups. SiL does tons, MiL didn't do only because of location and hated being stuck in. I must admit that I now look forward to group.