Do you buy your children toys outside of birthdays and Christmas - if so, how often and why?

[pipkin35]

Disagreeing with MIL.

Money permitting, I like to buy them toys whenever. I really don't mean all the time - and never to 'reward' good behaviour (they get food bribery for that) but for example, 2.3 yr old recently gone mental for drawing. So, I want to buy her a doodle thing. MIL reckons this should only be at birthdays and Christmas if stuff is not just a cheapo trinket.

But, I'm sure if we wait til Christmas - the phase/passion might have gone!

WDYD?

Yet again mumsnet makes me feel like meanest mummy on the planet! No, I don't buy toys through the year, they get craft stuff and when their nanny gives them some money they often spend it on a small toy. I just don't think kids need lots of toys really - particularly older children. Mine are 4 and 6 and rarely play with toys or games, they draw and just sort of play together. They spent the whole of yesterday playing with a rock they brought home from the beach - which really does make them sound deprived...

I buy craft stuff and the very occasional book. But we belong to a toy library, so every couple of weeks we go there and exchange borrowed toys, for a flat yearly fee.

Only exception to the no bought toys rule is for long distance travel, which we've done a fair bit of because most of DD's grandparents live interstate or overseas. Then I'll buy a few little things.

Because DD's birthday is very near Christmas, I also go through her new stash straight after Christmas and hide half the toys, to bring out during the year, because otherwise it's all too much at once.

And even with all the above, I think she's got more than she needs, really.

All the time, she gets presents at least once a month (we live overseas and every visiting family member or friend brings DD (2.5) a gift).

I buy her lots of books - at least one or two a month, and she gets sent the odd one in the post by family.

Crafts (i.e. paint, crayons, paper, chalk - nothing sophisticated), jigsaws etc I consider to be learning materials and as essential as new shoes. If it's something a nursery would keep a rolling stock of I try to do them same and replenish whenever stocks run low.

DH adds to the mix by bringing her back presents from business trips, about every two months.

I try to keep the levels of toys down by asking people that where possible, the presents are books and not toys, or if they are toys they add to something she already collects (ie Duplo/wooden railway).

As she gets older I will very much want to limit presents to Christmas and Birthdays, in order to make those events more meaningful and to make her more grateful for gifts!

Final point - at birthdays and christmas, so far, we have hidden the majority of the presents to give out at intervals over the year, so it's not too much all at once.

I buy too much for ds. I'm trying to stop though as I can see that he'll grow up spoilt if I carry on . If I see something I know he'll like I'm trying to put it away for Xmas rather than giving it to him straight away now.

I feel really mean now!

My dds are 10, 8 and 4 and, other than books, I rarely buy them anything at other times of year.

I do plan on taking them shopping in the summer hols though and letting them choose something each as an occasional summer treat

I do buy my daughter (3 in November) toys, crafts, books and dvd's throughout the year, especially if I see a bargain and it's suited to her development/ she'll really like it.

I very rarely buy anything at her request though, if she nags for something in a shop. I say 'Yes, it's lovely, perhaps you can have something like that for your birthday'.

I also don't really spend huge amounts for birthdays or christmas either, so I guess it all evens out. It's only in the month or so before her birthday that I start thinking about presents, I'm not that organised to put things away throughout the year.

Yes I do, and I buy them probably once every two or threemonths, they are generally cheap, and they are generally something the child has utterlyfallen in love with.

I ALWAYS get them something at the end of summer term, as a reward for a good report, but that is of my choosing, and I pick whatever I think with be most useful to them over the summer holidays. This year it was a trampoline, and I was right, they've hardly been off it.

Should add - Ds1 has SN whih make him partiularly clumsy anddistructive. A Lot of hisand his little brother's possessions get destroyed this way, and I replace them a soon as I can, usually using his DLA money./

when they were under 3 I would certainly have bought anything educational, (drawing materials are educational) whenever they seemed useful. Thereafter I would buy at any time things that would make my life easier, so they would get a new toy for the summer holidays. As they got older presents tend to be limited to birthdays and Christmas and to be more useful. So they might get clothes, a laptop or driving lessons. They do get an allowance so are expected to budget for things they want.

Playing with a rock from the beach makes children sound imaginative

Interesting reading this as I'm just thinking about going and buying my DS (18 months) a toy garage and some cars - it's nowhere near his birthday. He's been playing with a friends a lot and really enjoying it and I'm feeling guilty as with having an older DD we don't really have any 'boy' toys!

(obviously it's nowhere near his birthday as he's 18 months old, dur...)

I disagree with your MIL too. Does she only have nice treats on her birthday and xmas - I suspect not.

We treat DS often regardless of the time of year to small and large things and love christmas so its a big event in our house.

Drawing stuff and other useables (ie things that get used up) - yes. What's the earthly point of making DCs wait till Christmas for a few felt-tip pens or some chalk! But big toys, no. In fact for the first couple of birthdays we didn't really buy DD anything at all. G-parents got her a trike, and she got a sandpit and a drumkit, but having seen one friend's house that's just awash in plastic we steer clear of toys, in general.

DS gets little things throughout the year. Bubble mix/wands, drawing stuff, craft stuff, balls, books, like people have already said; but also animals for his collection. He is only allowed new animals though, ones he doesn't already have - so no repeats. We go to a fair few wildlife parks and the shops often have them in, so it's nice for him to have the reminder.
If he needs something that he doesn't have, like a small gardening set when he shows an interest in gardening, then I'll buy him that as and when. I'd say he gets something new probably every fortnight but it's very small and relatively cheap - and it will stop soon because we'll run out of available animals.

But big stuff is for birthdays and Christmas only. MIL recently bought DS a bike "just because" and we were hopping mad - sure, it's a nice thought but she didn't think, she just bought it, without considering the wider implications. Bikes = Big Presents - don't want him to have his expectations raised when he's not even 4 yet!

I agree that when they are small it is about making sure you have the right things around for their development.

DD who is a similar age has also become very very keen on drawing recently, as well as puzzles which she really struggled with before. Since it's the beginning of the summer and it'll just be the two of us not going anywhere outside of local area I have stocked up on things which suit her development now.

She certainly doesn't expect to get toys all the time, and I'm not sure that she really gets the concept of special days/christmas/birthdays yet either.

I don't go mad on the big present occasions either though tbh. We were very low on funds for her 2nd birthday so she got a bed and the bedding to go with it as that was needed but nothing else from us. She got a few toys from other people, but nothing extravagent.