anyone else have parents that do their head in?

[sugarbaby]

Hi, this is my first time of posting

I was just wondering if anyone else has a parent or parents who drives them round the bend?

my mother undermines my authority with regard to DS at every turn. She treats him like a baby, in so far as that she won't even let him climb the stairs or walk to the car on his own - she carries him. And she disagrees with everything I do with regard to disciplin, even though she was much stricter on me and my sister when we were little.

Everyone says that it's a granny's right to spoil their grandchildren, but surely there are limits? she's even been known to pick up DS when I've shouted at him and tell him that I'm a horrible mummy.

This isn't so much a winge as a post to see whether I'm the only one whose parents are like this, or whether there are any more out there?

just to ad, DS was 3 this month, so by no means is a baby

It's very frustrating. That sort of thing happens to my children (and me! ) with my mum. I dodn't know what you can do, other than try not to let it bug you. Hah! Easier said than done.

I more-or-less let my mum get on with it now, but I do put my foot down - to the extent of having had several arguments - about sweets, snacks or juice before meals, and naptimes. Only don't have the arguments in front of your ds, or as you're walking out her door. I have to expleain over and over, that I am teh one who has to deal with the fallout afterwards, when the children won't eat supper because they're too full of snack and then won't go to sleep because they're hungry for supper!

Other than things that really affect your life, what harm is there really if she babies him a bit? 3 isn't that big really.

Yes I have a mother who drives me round the bend.

She does exactly what yours does.

Half of me says, OK, it's her right to spoil her grandchildren, but the other half says, bugger this, in the context of being a lone parent, that kind of behaviour is unacceptable. You can put up with an undermining adult doing this, if you have another sensible adult backing you up and singing from the same hymn sheet. If you don't, then suddenly that kind of undermining becomes seriously annoying, rather than a minor irritation.

I also half think it's a MIL's job to be that irritating, not your mother's. But I guess my mother is just being generous, taking on the role, as MIL is ex!

I would be annoyed if my Mum said "Horrible Mummy" to my Girls and would have said something to her

She will comment on the odd thing, but on the whole she is great and has been a good support to me

my mum is like this too. I find it gets me v v angry. she sticks her nose in and challenges everything i say. I think the only way she'd be happy is if i let the boys have everything they wanted when they wanted it.
We recently had a massive row where she had the cheek to tell me i don't discipline them! ( er..i do but you override evrything i say mother!)
needless to say, things have never quite recoverd since then.

I think it's well out of order to call you a horrible mummy to your ds, even supposedly in jest, sugarbaby. I do sympathise, and no, you're definitely not alone! My mum is the opposite ? ie much stricter than me and always on DS's case about washing his hands, not picking his nose, finishing all the food on his plate... when I'm there. I find it so undermining, but when I tell her how I feel she says she feels "attacked" and it's me who's in the wrong. Can't win.

I don't think it is ok for your mother, or anyone to undermine you, parenting is hard enough. I would tell her to stop clearly and if she continues, restrict access to yourself and ds. Sounds drastic but so is what she is doing. I had a MIL who tried the line "I think grandmothers are second moms really". But a stop to that, smiled politely at her advice and continued to do exactly what I thought was right for my child. Remember, our moms and mil's had their go at child rearing, it's our turn now and when our little one's some day do it, we will have to shut up and let them at it.