What things do you associate with being a good mum?

[Tortoiseonthehalfshell]

I want a nice fluffy feel good thread.

I realised last night that while I judge my parenting on about a million different levels, I always feel like a good mum when I:

a) Feed my child homecooked 'grandma' food. Last night I made beef stew and apple and raspberry pie, and I was filled with a self-satisfied glow for the rest of the evening.
b) Bath my child. There is something about lifting her out of a warm bath, all naked and clean and with soapsuds in her curls, and drying her off and putting her in clean jammies that makes me feel more like a Good Mum than almost any other caring/nurturing task I perform. Even though it's easier and more pleasant than, say, toilet training or nit combing or firmly managing toddler tantrums.
c) Paint with my child. I do know that generations of children have thrived without being encouraged to cover paper with gallons of poster paint. But it's irretrievably Good Mum territory for me.

So what are your Good Mum things, that make you feel like you're the poster child for Good Parenting and General Niceness everywhere?

When we go somewhere new and my DD 2.4 is happy to run off and make new friends, I feel that I am successfully raising a happy and confident child.

When I sit and play whatever DD wants to play until she gets bored and not me.

Totally agree on the bath one, theres something about a clean baby in pyjamas!

Yes, food definately
Cleanliness
Teaching them manners
I'm glad my daughter is comfortable and confident around people she doen't know as people ten to warm to her more and she isn't to clingy to me.

NOne of the op's above nowadays. I have teenagers. it's occassions like last night when we have managed to sort out a problem without the teenager blowing up.

Getting feedback that they are polite and they are a credit to you.

All of the above, plus taking ds out for a meal and old ladies commenting on how good he's being and on what he's eating :) also when he says 'yes please mummy' without prompting oh and of course when he gives me an impromptu cuddle and kiss

Cooking with them, especially if I manage it with both of them at once. They aren't little, but they still compete over things.
If we manage to produce something nice with all three of us still in the kitchen, that produces a warm mummy glow.

I don't think I can define one or two specific things that make one a 'good mum'. My children range in age from 2 to almost 18. With the older three it's the trust, honesty, love and friendship that we have built up together over the years and that they are growing into adults that I am burstingly (not a word I know) proud of. Polite, caring, well mannered DDs and DS on the cusp of the next stages in their lives.

DD3 is just 2 and I would say that if she's happy, learning, playing, polite and generous (she is) then I have obviously done and am doing a good job with her too (and yes it is me on my own). We spend hours cooking together, she loves it and I love it. But as above, she is at her most deliciously wonderful after her bath and all wrapped up in her towel, cuddly and just perfect! But I am biased.

When i take him out for a meal and he'll happily try new things from people's plates and others comment on how happy, smiling and contented he is.

Stuff that makes me feel good as a mum:

Feeding them healthy stuff, especially a nice homecooked meal. Particularly getting them to eat fruit and veg, or something new.

Never running out of food and always having money in a bank account so I never have to borrow. Not directly parenting, but related to the food thing. I have friends who actually run out of things and always borrow money/sell stuff and always feel it must worry the children to have to go hungry or (for example) see their DS sold so they can afford to get by. I work my ass off budgeting to ensure that there is always emergency money should something break and need replaced, always birthday and christmas money, and I alway keep my cupboards full.

Always reassuring them when they have a nightmare. So either waking up and comforting them, letting them come in to my bed for a cuddle, or going in to theirs to give them a cuddle.

Reading with them. I always loved to read, being able to share this with my children and see them enjoy it and do well because of it is just amazing.

I love threads like this .

Mine range from getting school reports saying what lovely, hardworking polite children they are (even if they are not like that at home!).

Cooking tea with them and having the confidence and trust in them to let them put things in and out of the oven / stir the pans / use the sharp knives.

Cuddling up with them at bedtimes to read bedtime stories with them even though they are more than capable of reading to themselves (dds age 7 and 10)

When I cuddle them better after a fall and distract them so it doesn't hurt anymore. When I have them both either on my lap or next to me and reading books. When either of them take a toy/ book to the other one because they know it's theirs or they would like it. When My DS talks confidently to adults. When I let them make a mess and we have a huge joyful bundle!

Totally agree about food too. And when they start to say thank you and please without being prompted (have two toddlers). And when my DS asks to help me.

Talking (and listening) to my almost 3yo, about whatever random stuff is passing through his mind Answering his questions, showing him things, finding out what he's interested in that day, being amazed at what he remembers from previous conversations. Doing things at his pace rather than chivvying him along at my own.

It's all too easy to get caught up in whatever adult thing I'm doing, so taking the time to listen always makes me feel good.

Mine's still really small (11 months) but I feel satisfied when;

1. I put him to bed, warm and clean and full and he falls asleep straight away.

1. I take him to a park and he spends the whole time exploring, poking at things and happily playing.

1. When we "read" together and he actively turns the pages and points at things and I think "please please like books when you're older".

When they play together, pleasantly (not that it is happening a lot at the moment!). It is nothing to do with me, but it gives me an 'all is right with the world' feeling!

Rockstock, yes, they're the sensible real important things that are actually hard to achieve.

But for some reason, they don't fill me with The Glow like apple pie and bubbles do.

I had a strange Good Mum moment yesterday, when DD was refusing to leave a shop that had a toy basket, and I told her I would count to three and then remove her, and she shouted "No, NOT two, No, NOT THREE!" and I picked her up and removed her kicking and screaming. And I had this moment of Look I Have Followed Through On Consequences Firmly But Lovingly smugness.

The baths are better, though.

Tortoise I experience that too, on the rare occasions when I Follow Through On Consequences without sounding like a furious harpy

Tortoise you are so right - I don't know how old your children are, but I absolutely get The Glow with my 2 year old DD daily with everything from bubbles, cuddles to random 'I love you mummy'.

Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the day....!) I don't get the bubbles and cuddles and heart meltingly innocent little things with the teenage DC unless of course they want money, lifts and hair dos

Having said that, the glow I got last year with DD1's exam results was enough to warm a small country. So I guess different glows for different stages. It's all freaking great

I am surprised by how many of the things I associate with being a good mum are the same as the things I know used to make my own mother feel like a good mother!

a) Homecooked food.
b) Decent breakfast - my mother used to always get up even when we were teens, make sure we had fruit salad, boiled eggs, cereal, bacon and beans etc. Goodness we were spoiled.
c) Good quality warm outdoor clothes and shoes. Have just spent 35 quid on waterproof for a two year old ....
d) Doing craft activities - yesterday we cut out pictures and glued them in a collage. God I felt like a good parent!
e) Making sure she has washed hands face and cleaned teeth twice a day, properly. Washing hands before eating.

Now where is my apron I must make some cupcakes ...

This thread is giving me a little glow inside!

Pleasant, friendly children.

I think that's about all.