Disastrous potty training -please, please help.

[wilbur]

DD is 2 1/2 and we have been potty training for 2 months. She seemed very ready for it when we started and has been very enthusiastic about the whole thing. At first she got poos in the potty pretty quickly and took a bit longer to realise that a wee was coming. So far, so normal. What has happened since is that she has become reliably dry (pretty much, just needs regular reminders) but has not done a poo in the potty or loo for about a month, she just does them in her pants. Each time she says she will do them on the loo next time, but it never happens. I am at the end of my tether and don't know what to do. I am trying to stay calm but lost it a bit this morning when she wouldn't let me wipe her . She doesn't have a regular time to go, she's never been one of these straight-after-breakfast type pooers, so it's hard to anticipate when she might need to go. I also have a 15 week old, so it's difficult to watch dd like a hawk at all times. Any suggestions? Any way to get her to understand when a poo is coming and to tell me? Her nursery says not to worry, but as she's getting worse, not better, I can't help feeling like I'm doing everything wrong.

bump

How about some kind of star chart/reward system?

Do you have potties in every room?
I'd stick her on it after meals (which is usually when they go ), and flick on the telly, just so she is happy to stay there
She needs to remember how it feels
Sticker chart and treats
Sounds like a blip connected to new arrival
Knackering for you though

i can't believe it. your situation is the exact mirror of mine!! dd1 is 2.9 and poos her pants all the time but wees in potty plus i have 5 month old.

nursery and hv say not to make an issue of the poos but like you i lost it with her yesterday. at the mo we are saying no cbeebies or nick jr if she poos her pants. she understands, loves dora the exlorer but then poos anyway. at the mo i feel like sadist mother from hell. will watch thread with interest.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but really try not to worry - it all sounds very normal. DS2 is 3 and still tends to start doing a poo in his pants before he remembers, which results in lots of accidents...

Think the sticker charts is a good idea though

My DD1 was exactly the same but she was nearer 3 - she would sit on the loo and refuse - then within 2 mins she would Poop when her bedtime nappy was put on. Had to be very firm with her and withdraw her favourite toy for one day - the next night she did as she was asked and has been fine ever since. I felt I was being very strict but it did work, Good luck

stay in the house for a few days and leave her with her knickers and trousers/skirt off so she doesnt have the secure feeling like she is going in a nappy. i would use pull ups if you have to go out for your own sanity. ds2 was pretty reluctant to potty train but only took 3 days of this before he was done, which i dont think is too bad

Wilbur - i'll watch this thread with interest. My ds is 3.2 months. We started in "big boy pants" in March when he was 2.5 and had been showing all the traditional signs of being ready. He still never asks to go so after 9 months of 3 wets/poos a day he's wearing pull ups and we might as well have never bothered.

We've tried chocolate/star charts/mega positive praise/treats/the works!

When I ask him why, he says he's too busy to go to the toilet, he likes being in wet pants and it's ok because I can clean them in the washing machine anyway

When he has been dry it's because I've taken him to the loo every 1.5 hours without fail - often dragging him protesting. But otherwise he just does it in his pants.

Wlbur - much much sympathy - it is truly a pile of pants

Oh thanks for these messages - glad to know I am not alone. I think I'm extra uptight because we had similar problems with ds1 who was not trained fully until he was 3.5 - we had tried when he was 2.7 but given up after a week as he was clearly not ready. When we tried again when he was 3 it still took five months to get it.

I started out with a star chart for dd's wees and poos, and she liked that but gradually lost interest. Maybe I should design a big new one with extra special stickers. Or give her a sticker to wear when she poos, she loves that.

I just feel so bad for her - she's such a lovely little soul, but has been slow to talk and is still quite indistinct in her speech, plus she's big for her age so that people tend to be a bit surprised to find her having trouble speaking/ getting rid of nappies, and we get the odd comment which makes me .

Oooh, phoning daddy at work or granny, that's a v good idea. MIL will think I'm barking but she adores dd so will be happy to help.

Remember she is still quite young as well.....I didn't 'train' my dd until she was 3.1 (after a brief quickly aborted messy attempt at 2.5) and she was done in a couple of days - all down to personal preference I know but still, don't worry about it, she will be fine in the end.

We had poo in pants every day for at least 2 months too (and a new baby too - may have a lot to do with it). Eventually we just caught one when we put him on the loo after a meal and read to him and it just appeared. Much praise and choc treat! After that it was a couple more months before he was fairly reliable. He still gets choc treat at end of day if he keeps same pants on all day (still have damp pants type accidents). I did at one point describe to him how to hold poo in when he could feel it coming (squeeze bottom until you get to loo, then poo) which actually seemed to work.

BTW ds's nursery said it was common for it to take a couple of months longer for them to master poos.