I just blew the Stranger Danger talk with dd

[gramercy]

Dd aged 7 has been invited to spend a day at the beach and a funfair with a friend and two or three other children.

I'm not entirely comfortable with this - but dd is super keen to go.

Yesterday I raised the subject of keeping safe: not wandering off, who to approach if she gets separated from her friends, and then what to do if someone approaches her (scream and kick). I feel I have to raise these points.

Dd burst into tears and said she was now afraid of going.

I've really blown it. I wanted to give her information and now I've traumatised her. Help! What should I say now?

I was terrified of strangers when I was little- the Stranger Danger message was drummed into us and we even had a picture book about it! But it hasn't scarred me for life, and I still went places and had fun.

The thing is, what you're warning her of is a scary thing- there are no grey areas really, she needs to know how important it is to be on her guard. If that means she is upset for a little while in the mean time as the message sinks in, I don't think that's a bad thing. Much better that she get upset now and know the dangers than be blissfully ignorant.

I'm sure she'll calm down soon.

Thanks for support. In this case I don't think ignorance is bliss. Nonetheless I still feel bad telling her if she gets lost to ask a lady with children for help, not a man by himself. Feels like I'm tarring half the human race with an unpleasant brush.

What if the 'man by himself' is a policeman?

Well, that would be different!

Tell her to approach a Mummy or Daddy with a pushchair - that worked for me, luckily I never had to use it!

I always say someone in a uniform like a policeman/women, or someone who works at the place we're at (I said this when we were at Dreyton Manor a while ago, it was insanely busy and iI shows ds's the DM logo and said if they got lost to ask someone with that logo on their t shirt).

I hadn't thought of saying about someone with a pushchair, thanks purple I'll use that one

x

I always say a family or someone with children

Agree with the approach a family tip as well - uniforms, shop assistants and families.
Does she have an ID bracelet? We bought some from an online company a while back, little plastic wristbands you can write name/phone number on the inside.
As she won't know your friend's mobile number, perhaps they could take a pen and write it on the inside of her wrist or somewhere so they can be quickly reunited if she gets lost? Just remind her to get it re-done if it starts to wash off.

Thanks - that mobile tip is a good one as it's obviously no good giving our number.

Still not quite happy about this trip, though...

Do you trust the adults supervising? do you know them well enough to trust them?

I've tried over and over to have the stranger danger chat with DD. She is a really friendly confident little girl and will talk to anybody. Yesterday, I took her and two friends to a theme park. I was concerned about losing them and copied the mobile phone on arm idea from a child I saw.
We never got seperated but the mum of the two other girls wanted to know why I'd drawn on their arms .