I was brought up by two foreign parents and although my mum certainly brought her special brand of wackiness into the mix, by the time I was six or so (been in England for just over a year) I knew that my parents were different and it was because they were foreign. For me, I really wanted them to be English and have the right accents. I wanted a sweetie day, not stodgy quinoa in fake tupperware. I wanted clothes that smelt of fabric conditioner like the other kids, tissues in a packet, to forget how to talk my other two languages most of all. I'd be at school and be told I was clever all day for doing the simplest things, and then come home to hear that I should be doing more, that I was this and that and always taking the easy way out. Not that they didn't praise me, but there was a big difference, higher standards, I guess.
But also things like unquestioning obedience, which I didn't see amongst my friends and definitely not now. Little kids in England (often) just laugh in their parents' faces when they're told to do something and they're negotiated with all the time, my little cousins in France all the way to my strapping 19 year old big boy cousins always do as they're told, and they manage to be happy independent thinkers at the same time, imagine that.
Umm what else...discipline. Self-discipline is a huge thing in our family. Things like getting over boredom...my mum still tells me off if she sees me catch up a book for two minutes waiting for something, she thinks I should learn to be bored and not be so easy on myself (I agree with that...). But basically no one over there wants a cry baby or someone who can't get up and deal with their own scrapes and bruises. When I first came to England I was v. surprised because all the grown ups seemed to talk to me like I was a baby (not baby talk- but things like 'all right, love, you just tell me if you need anything, anything at all!' and coddling little pleasantries, no straight talking, as if they were at our beck and call) and also because people made a big fuss out of the tiniest things like bee stings or organising every little thing for the kids (like the mothers would know exactly what the child needed for school the next day, they'd set out the laundered PE kit all ready etc, whereas my mum always made sure I knew she didn't have to do all that for me). When I was little, my mum always made fun of me, always always teased me, and if I suddenly stood up and said that had inhibited me or caused terrible scarring psychological damage I'd be straight in line for more teasing, but I think in England I would really be taken seriously. Oh and I was always struck when I went to sleepovers and we were allowed to watch TV and have breakfast made and brought to us in the mornings. Wow! I always overate, partly because I loved the whole ritual...lazy decadence after my own home of healthy, spartan, obedience etc.
There's not so much attachment to things....no snacking between meals :o even the French plastics work hard at school. I asked my cousin over there if he liked school and he shrugged and said that it was school, you had to do well, but what was there to like? Whereas here schools are completely focused on engaging the child, no child left behind and their complaints are carefully noted down and dealt with i.e. we are always being asked "how could we make this lesson more fun? What could we do to make it more interesting?", which has come from the parents, I think. Good or bad thing? Don't want to be too negative in this post. England is a very childcentric place. Over in France etc children are welcomed when they have something valuable to say, but that's not very often, so they should clear off during apero and that's that, no squalling, no 'histoires', no hanging on their every word.