My 2wk old only sleeps in my arms - advice appreciated

[Niccc123]

My 2.5wk old son will only sleep in my arms and wakes crying if I try to put him down. It's getting exhausting now, as he is the same during the daytime so I can't even catch a nap then unless I ask someone else to hold him for me. Have tried everything - hot water bottle to lightly warm his crib, co-sleeping, waiting til he is fast asleep to put him down, putting him down just before he is asleep to 'teach' him to settle himself (thanks baby whisperer for that 'helpful' advice - not sure you're whispering in the same language as my son!) etc. Nothing seems to work. It seems from my endless Internet searching that this is a common problem with newborns and that I should just indulge him and enjoy the cuddles. This is fine, but I need a couple of hours sleep at least! Anyone have any advice or other tricks I can try? Should also mention that I am exclusively breastfeeding him.

Thanks in advance.

We used a babybjorn. I felt safe sleeping on the sofa with DS because he was attached to my front and wasn't going to slip off me and get squished. Also excellent for doing the washing up. It has lumbar support which is great if you have a bad back, big baby and have had a c section.
Also recommend the woombie for swaddling. In the summer its better than a swaddling blanket because it uses less material. Our DS was fine in a nappy and woombie.
www.amazon.co.uk/Woombie-Summer-Swaddle-Stripe-Months/dp/B002O71UTM/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1309466651&sr=8-3

I had exactly the same experience so I feel your pain! All I can is that for the first 6 weeks, I bearly put DD down, she slept either on me or my DP and I expressed milk so we could share feeds/sleeplessness. But in her 7th week, without any crazy baby whisperings or Gina Fording my baby finally decided to go to sleep in her moses basket for the first time. Good luck and I hope your baby gets there before mine did! xx

I really wouldn't recommend the baby bjorn. I used one for the first few months, and I thought it was great at first, but now I know better! My DS was a big baby, and after a while the sling started hurting my shoulders. I carried on using it because it was so useful to have my hands free, but it hurt! Then my friend lent me her wrap around sling, what a revelation! It was lt was really comfy, as it distributes the weight of your child evenly rather that putting stress on your shoulders. What a difference!

More importantly, I've since discovered that baby Bjorn aren't good for your baby either, as they are positioned so that their crotch is supporting a lot of their weight. This isn't natural (a babies body isn't designed to carry its weight on his / her crotch in this way) and some people think it could be bad for growing bones.

In short, wraps distribute the weight much better, which is more comfortable and better for you and your baby. They are lovely and snuggly too

I hate baby Bjorns now, i just see then as yet another badly designed product trying to cash in on new parents!

Just thought I'd add that i haven't bothered to put dc3 down for sleep at all yet - and he is 5months! he is asleep now in a sling, sleeps on me or next to me at night... Of course, i have the luxury of dh to get me stuff all evening but really, it's such a short time. Do what you want to do - I like to go with the flow!

I remember asking my GP at my 6 week check up if it was OK for DD (Who Would Not Be Put Down) to be sleeping on my chest. She said "absolutely fine. But if she's still doing it when she's 16, come and see me."

I'd go for swaddling too. Primark do really good baby blankets. Double cotton ones that are a square shape. fold in half like a triangle and swaddle with that. I could never use the swaddle wrap things- there was always too many wee bits to wrap here and there. I always made sure he was nice and warm too. Not roasting obviously but they get comfort from the warmth of your body and my two ds's loved being toasty.
This is a really hard time though as this is when the sleep depravation comes in but it will get better!!

I think at 2.5 weeks he's too young for the baby whisperer or anything like that.

My DD was the same. I slept with her on my chest. At this very early stage just do whatever works. At night she was on my chest and once she was absolutely out for the count I slid her very gently off my chest and on to the bed next to me. Used a sling in the day as no way would she go in her pushchair!

He will get easier to put down very soon - my DD would go in her moses basket from about 6 weeks (with dummy which we introduced at about that point). At about the same point she didn't mind going on her carseat on the pram wheels (car seats are more cosy than a big carrycot). When you are in the thick of it, its hard to see things ever changing but they do change, quickly.

The main anxiety I always found, with DD being my first, was the feeling that I was doing sth wrong or that if I found the right "trick", DD would be put down. Or that I would be setting bad habits. I now know that its just a matter of time - you can't make a tiny baby be happy to be put down. The anxiety about whether I "should" be doing something was worse than the sleeplessness! This time around (DC2 due in Oct) I wont fret if s/he won't be put down because I know it sorts itself out in a few weeks. In fact I will be expecting to be permanently attached to a baby for 6 weeks, and if s/he turns out more independent than that, well that will just be a bonus !

Best of luck!

Great advice from bumpsadaisie

I also did sleeping on the chest, ds was never happy anywhere else, hated swaddling and only ever truly settled laying on me.
Tbh I wish now I had relaxed and gone with it a bit more instead of worrying so much as i really miss those days now....
At 4 weeks he would go down for about 1/2 hr on his own and gradually he went a bit longer each time, by 8 weeks he was able to be put down on his own for a proper sleep.
Do whatever you need to for you to both get some rest.

"Tbh I wish now I had relaxed and gone with it a bit more instead of worrying so much as i really miss those days now...."

Oh me too. If I'm lucky enough to have another baby, and they're the same as DS was, I will have the confidence in myself to enjoy the time and the closeness, instead of worrying that 'we've done it all wrong'.

camdancer I'm sorry my link made you cry. It's all such an emotional business isn't it.

i tried feeding lying down again last night and it worked - sort of. I did most of the feed sitting up then when she was getting sleepy we lay down. As far as I can tell she snuggled my boob for that whole sleep. And I actually got some sleep. Yay!

The first few weeks are just so hard and exhausting. Especially with DC1 where you don't quite believe it'll ever end. I found with DC2 and now with DC3, even though I do believe it'll end quickly, some small very tired, very emotional bit of me is still sceptical.

My ds was just like this, used a sling- the Close or a wrap- all the time during the day and sometimes even at night. He wouldn't stay asleep alone until he was 8 months but he did have reflux. Now have dd aged 3.5 weeks and she's just the same, main difference is I don't feel I should be putting her down! So much less stressful. She sleeps beside me propped up on my arm after feeding to sleep. With ds tried baby whisperer techniques and it made life so awful, this time am only reading books like Three in a Bed - can't remember author but it's worth a look.

Haven't read the whole thread but have you got a Baby Bjorn bouncy chair? My dds would fall asleep in this. This looks similar and half the price.

We also found putting dds on our lap, face down with face at an angle, and tapping gently on their backs - one tap per second - would send them to sleep. Good luck.

second everything said on here, particularly slings (moby/kari me for me, love their weight distribution and the fact you can continue right through to 6mo+)
swaddling - you don't need to dress baby properly if it's really hot - when we were on hols in greece last august with 4mo DD2, we swaddled her in just her nappy and a small cot sheet. it does work, makes them feel much more secure.
also - controversially - i've also ignored guidelines and let them sleep on their front, particularly in the day (not so keen at night, i have to admit). NOT, i have to say, if they are sickly etc - but your description of a roast chicken made me smile - he's obviously happy curled up on his mummy feeling her heartbeat (there's research to show that just being on you regulates his heartbeat and hormone levels) (and yours, whilst we're at it)
congratulations on the breastfeeding, by the way. did you also know that with co-sleeping there's evidence to show that the co-sleeping mother regulates her body temperature in accordance with her baby? you are sort of as one - so if baby is hot, your body cools...and vice versa. See if he's happy sleeping next to you in the bed, and see what your body naturally does. my bet would be that you instinctively curl yourself around him and both nod off . follow safe sleeping guidelines, mind.

good luck! remember - this too shall pass...

Thanks so much for all your suggestions. Have bought a Moby and worked like a charm. Felt liberated being able to move about and do stuff again! Have also been more relaxed about just catching sleep when i can. He has slept on my chest and in bed with us and although he still wakes lots, at least I am getting few hours rather than winding us both up with the endless trying to put him in his crib them calming him down when it fails cycle. Think the best advice is just to enjoy him, was forgetting how special this time is in the midst of all my stress so thanks for reminding me and getting me to chill out!