So the baby will be born... what next?

[oriordankt]

Hi,

So I'm 38+5 with my first baby (a girl) and even though I'm still terrified of birth, its recently occured to me that there is life after birth that will be a baby to deal with. :P Has anyone got advice for the first few weeks after birth with the baby - dos, don'ts, setting rountines etc.

Everyone is happily giving me advice about pregnancy but I'm strating to wonder what will happen next. (All people say about the newborn stage is "its hard" but the actual advice is less forthcoming.) My mum will be coming to visit for the few weeks after the baby is born (something that I'm increasingly grateful for).

Thanks in advance!

I agree with all of above. Only thing to add is that EVERYONE tells you how you 'should' parent your child - ignore them and trust your instincts. You will make the right choices for your family, and you will know your baby best.

Good luck, and congratulations

Brilliant practical advice on here. Mine is more esoteric.

Don't aim to do everything to perfection. It's impossible and you set yourself up for failure. Sometimes good enough is just that.

Naomi Stadlen's book "What Mothers Do - especially when it looks like nothing" is reassuring, but probably a bit difficult to read in the first few weeks when you are in the middle of it.

And buy some nice pajamas so you don't need to get dressed for visitors (which will remind them that they should be looking after you).

People will tell you - total strangers, with a sentimental leer - to "enjoy it while it lasts". If you are not enjoying it, feel free to scowl and point this out.

If you're BFing, don't be ashamed to ask for help in the hospital, including ringing the buzzer for assistance. I did (and got transferred back to the mid-wife led unit for 24hrs to help me!!). Best thing we did. Also find out about local BFing groups and watch plenty of BFing videos to give yourself as much help as possible. It's a skill like anything else that both you and your baby need to learn. Definitely get a tube of lansinoh, it's brill for cracked/sore nipples.

Make sure DH/DP knows where the baby section is in your nearest 24hr supermarket and it shown the size labels (and knows what a babygro is!). DD was unexpectedly small so we had nothing that fitted her.

Ditch any books or comments that don't work for you or the baby, and/or make you cry. Go with the flow, do whatever it takes to get through the day/night and don't worry about 'making a rod for your own back'. You'll find your own rhythm/routine in due course; that suits you, your baby and your lifestyle.

Feel free to sticking a sign on your door asking visitors to go away come back later. Also stick the answerphone on if needed (turn down the volume so it doesn't bother you) and/or change the message to give an update. You can go through any messages in one go or leave DH/DPs mobile so he can coordinate visitors.

Ensure your mum helps you rather than cuddles the baby while you do everything!! DH and I had a code word for him to get everyone out of the house so I could struggle to BF in peace . Get snacks in, cash for takeaways and some multi-vitamins. Sleep when DC sleeps, DO NOT do chores around the house

Gosh, that was long... DD is 22mo now and it is brilliant :)