how do you deal with a 3 year old who has suddenly started screaming etc when going to childminders?

[gloriainexcHELSIsdeo]

she never used to do this. She has been going since December and only in that last 2 weeks have these tantrums started every morning that she goes (3 mornings each week).

Sorry, but I would be concerned as to why she has suddenly started reacting like this.

I think it might have something to do with the fact that the childminder takes her and Ben the other little boy to a play centre. Dd says she doesn't like it and I thinknshe worries that she is going. I have told the childminder tis and she says they won't go anymore but even when I have told dd that she won't be going she still carries on.

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I would take her to this playcentre yourself, to see her reaction and to see if you can pinpoint her reasons for disliking it.

I have spoken to her and asked her to tell me. She just says that she wants to stay with me (I have been off work for 4 weeks due to pg sickness could that have anything to do with it?). When I go to pick her up she always tells me that she had a nice time and that she loves X (the childminder). I trust the CM completley - she is a lady whoI have known for 25 years and she goes to our church. Her children went to school with my younger brother.

I think the first time she went to the centre she was so excited that she got herself lost in the main bit and didn't know how to get out.

I think you hit the nail on the head - the fact that you've been off work could definitely be the problem. If you're at home she might feel she's missing out on something. DD does this from time to time - just decides she wants to stay with mummy despite the fact that she loved the childminder and now loves nursery. (And I'm sure that nothing bad has happened at either place)

One time last winter she suddenly decided she didn't want to go to nursery. Cried to break your heart every time i dropped her off. The teachers there would take her and just tell me to go. Two minutes after I was gone she was fine. Still, she carried on like that for a week or so. Then she came down with a but and really did have to stay at home with me for a week - well I'll tell you that cured her of wanting to stay home with mummy every day! I made sure it was REALLY boring for her.

If you're convinced there's not a geniune problem at the childminders I think the best thing to do is just pay as little attention to the tantrums as possible. Be very matter of fact, drop her off calmly and go without a fuss. (I assume she's ok once she's there?) The behaviour should stop on it's own.

oops, i mean she came down with a BUG