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Parenting

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Original poster

Walking with a 2 year old in the street

53 replies

microserf · 18/06/2011 21:46

DD is adamant she wants to walk in the street and gets very upset when put into pushchair (in fact, sometimes you basically have to force her, so I end up not going out rather than doing that).

Anyway, it was going OK with my pushing the pushchair with DS in it, and DD holding my hand or "pushing" the pushchair. BUT twice now, she has refused to hold my hand, and has run towards the road - once getting into the road itself with a large 4x4 travelling at speed towards her). Both times I have resorted to desperate measures to grab her in time, and we've ended up in a heap on the pavement, her in tears and me very shaken.

Should I be insisting she's back in the double buggy? Is she too young at 26 months to be walking on the pavement? DH wants her to develop her independence and I am a bit over protective, so I've been trying - but as she gets more confidence, the worse the problem gets.

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NormanTebbit · 18/06/2011 22:14

I don't think a strap is a good idea for a two year old. At three they understand, but at two they can suddenly let go and run off.

bessie26 · 18/06/2011 22:15

My DD1 (2.8) is exactly the same, the other day I had to walk to the car carrying DD2 in the car seat & DD1 kicking & screaming under my other arm because she bolted beside a road. Not the kind of parenting style I had hoped to be displaying!

She used to always hold my hand & loved her ladybird rucksack (reins) but now hates them (threw a paddy the last time I got it out of the cupboard!) so I'm not able to walk anywhere with the two of them unless I have another adult with me . Am planning some 1:1 time with her walking down some quiet roads to see if we can can get it sorted without the distraction of DD2 & the pram.

OP have you thought of getting a buggy board? We have one, but it won't fit on our quinny while we're using the carrycot I've also seen somewhere a handle that you can attach to the pram/buggy for them to hold - not quite the same as you holding them, but better than nothing?

Original poster

microserf · 18/06/2011 22:21

Bessie26, DD would LOVE a buggyboard, although I am not sure you can fit one on a Phil and Ted?

i wasn't going to admit this, but the first time she made a run for it, i grabbed the only thing i could reach in time, which was her hair - we were both crying by the end of that one. bet the passersby that saw it think i'm an awful mum.

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Fifis25StottieCakes · 18/06/2011 22:21

I would try a buggy board for when shes trired and a wrist strap. Thats what i used with my eldest 2 when they were little

BeeBread · 18/06/2011 22:23

I use reins with my 18 year old and find that the vast majority of the time the reins are loose and not restrictive at all. It's only when he looks like he's going to do something daft that I ever yank them. They are a good thing IMHO.

Ignore your DH, he's putting a very silly principle ahead of your child's safety.

Jojay · 18/06/2011 22:24

My friend used one with a P&T. I think it was the Lascal (?) one. She had to put the handle in the highest position and it wasn't super comfy for her to push, but it did work ok.

NormanTebbit · 18/06/2011 22:24

18?

Katy1368 · 18/06/2011 22:24

Sorry microserf but I think if you cannot rely on her on the road then it is back in the buggy (if you have a double) or reins and bugger what your DH thinks. He'll certainly have a lot to think of if she ends up under a car, and I really don't mean to be horrid by saying.

With my DD I let her start walking out of the buggy about 2 but as soon as their was any sign of disobedience she went back in quick smart and honestly she soon learnt. Even now at 3 I watch her like a hawk though she is generally good and not a "bolter".

Jojay · 18/06/2011 22:24

Reins on an 18 year old??

drivingmisscrazy · 18/06/2011 22:25

DD is 2.5 and fairly good about this; from a tiny girl we have constantly told her that she has to be on the pavement; she will dash for something that's interesting, but I hold her firmly by the hand (more her wrist, actually), keep her on the inside of me and tell her that if she goes near the road we will go straight home/in the buggy. I wouldn't trust her for a minute, though.

I take her specifically on walks nearby to teach her these things - but I don't think I'd manage it with another child, or other things to distract (although one day we ended up in tescos, so to her evident delight, came home on the bus). She does now go through the motions rather sweetly look right and left when crossing the road and say 'no cars coming, mummy'. So we are getting there, slowly.

Keep your expectations low, very low, and you might just have to insist on the buggy in some situations.

BeeBread · 18/06/2011 22:30

18 MONTH old.

MONTH

Ivortheengine8 · 18/06/2011 22:30

LOL Some 18 year olds need reins though, let's be honest!
I think you can relax a bit more with reins, My Blood Pressure would be sky high without them!

Original poster

microserf · 18/06/2011 22:30

thanks everyone, some really good advice here. looks like a little backpack reins are in order - better than what i have, which really is a harness. i really appreciate all the advice and messages.

OP posts:

Ivortheengine8 · 18/06/2011 22:33

Yey! Why don't you go to the website or the shop and your DD can chose her own - they have different types of animals etc
The lead is pretty long too. Best of luck!

EightiesChick · 18/06/2011 22:33

Do hope that's a typo.. it was all quite straight faced for a joke.

Tell your DP he'd better have very fast reflexes if he wants to take her our without the reins, or he will be the one driving her to hospital. Kids need independence in certain areas but not in managing their own road safety, at 2.

BeeBread · 18/06/2011 22:34

I have the Littlelife backpack too and it's good. I tell my 18-MONTH old DS that he can put his snacks in it for later in the walk, and he gets all excited about putting it on.

Grumpla · 18/06/2011 22:40

Another recommendation for the rucksack with lead reins attached.

DS (2) was really bad at this until we started an absolute zero tolerance policy for buggering about even when we are on footpaths etc. If he wants to walk he can, but if he tries to escape / doesn't wait when I say, he is straight back in pram.

I think it is the zero-tolerance in all locations that is helping - I don't think he is old enough to understand why one 'road' (practically a footpath, used for access only) is safer than another 'road' (the very narrow pavement next to two lanes of busy traffic so I have to make him behave the same on both.

Your DH is being a bit of a twit, perhaps you need to sit him down and actually explain what a narrow miss she had, how awful you felt, lay it on thick. As another poster has already pointed out - she IS an infant!

By the way, if I saw you pull your daughter out of the road by her hair in the nick of time, I'd applaud, not judge! That's the problem with toddlers, they are so bloody fast!

Original poster

microserf · 18/06/2011 22:42

I love the idea as she loves bags of all kinds, so she'll really like popping some things in it and wearing it. Not sure how she'll react to the rein part of it, that will be very interesting.

Yep, I thought the same thing re DH. It's late, so we'll have another conversation tomorrow. His view is he can steer the pushchair with 1 hand, so it's ok. What he doesn't fully understand is so can I, but that doesn't mean i am close enough to grab DD AND have enough time to lock or somehow stop the pushchair so DS is safe.

OP posts:

Realitystrikesback · 18/06/2011 22:44

Ds has the shark backpack, he loves it.

Honeydragon · 18/06/2011 22:48

Beebread does he really like the backpack? DD is 18 months and wants her independence so is out the buggy in seconds. However she is a little sod-- challenging when walking and the reins are a pain as she hates them on her chest and under her arms.

When ds was small I used to put a puppy lead on his belt loop, I can't get away with that now but was worried she was too young for the backpack.

bessie26 · 18/06/2011 22:53

micro if you go to their website it lists all the makes it will fit. I think the box has a picture of a P&T style buggy on it (am upstairs feeding so can't go look!)

Ivortheengine8 · 18/06/2011 22:56

Honey, My DD is 18 months and loves her rucksack - well worth the money. She goes and fetches her 'bag' when we are ready to go for a walk ad she doesnt mind wearing it one bit. We have a little soft toy attached to it too!

BeeBread · 18/06/2011 23:00

Honey yes, he does. I don't attach the reins bit until he's out of the house and he barely notices - it just clips onto a loop on the back very quickly.

So the packing of the bag, the promise of snacks to come, and getting the backpack on is all part of the ritual and he associates it with good things. Good job really cos he won't hold my hand for love nor money.

sparkle12mar08 · 18/06/2011 23:08

Your dh is anti reins?! So he'd rather a DEAD daughter than a live one? Prick! If he's not with you when you need to walk with your daughter then whether or not you choose to use reins to keep her safe is none of his bloody business.

bonkers20 · 18/06/2011 23:09

It really depends on the child. My DS has learnt that he either holds my hand or the buggy or he goes in the buggy. It only took him a few returns to the buggy to learn, but other children are more easily distracted, more determined, more contrary. Of course, I only have one in a buggy (the other is 12) so it's a lot easier to be in control.

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