Okay then, what age does smacking become acceptable?

[Ironmaiden]

I posted this on the long long long thread about smacking but got no response, what age does your baby have to be before you feel comfortable about smacking them?

I used an occasional smack on the bottom with DS from toddler years (ie about 18 months) to about 3.6 .. he is now 4.9 and because of his communication ability I haven't needed to smack for a good long while

I never feel comfortable about smacking, at any age.

I was smacked as a child and I'm totally fine about that - it didn't harm me or my relationship with my parents in any way, shape or form. I don't wish I wasn't smacked or anything like that. However, I just don't feel comfortable with it myself - I have smacked on the odd occasion but it's usually been due to frustration which is not good and I just fundamentally feel it's wrong to hit a child. Why can hitting be acceptable from adult to child but not in any other scenario? It just doesn't sit well with me at all.

I agree with GDG I was smacked as a child and dont mind that. There were also times when my parents lost the plot out of frustration and hit way too hard. I have done this once myself with DS [2.1] when he was kicking my stomach at 5mths pg[now 8mths and he hasnt done it again] but it was more anger/frustration than it actually being a discipline. I tend to use timeout which is relatively effective with ds and also removing his toys now. Although I dont know how long this will continue to be effective or whether he will do something that i think may deem a smack in the future but am hoping not.

I have 3 kids. Oldest is nearly 12. I've never smacked. Can't imagine that there is a 'comfortable' time to smack.

I'm with the majority so far. No time is acceptable for me. Just read the lyrics posted on the other thread and they made me feel quite upset actually.
Can't see myself how a smack can be called discipline, it seems like a threat, sort of, 'respect me or i'll use violence to make you'. Don't get it myself at any age.

a big fat never from me too

um .. I thought there was already a thread, a very long long thread, about how the vast majority believe smacking to be the most evil form of bad parenting around ..and anyone who doesn't agree should go down the sackcloth and ashes route

I thought this therad was a definite question about a particular element directed at those who do / have smacked and believe it to be a useful parenting tool

Sorry Twiglett, are we not to explian why then if we disagree?

In short then Ironmaiden.never!

I wasn't going to post on here as I've been having my twopenceworth on the other thread, but i just noticed that the original question is

"what age does your baby have to be before you feel comfortable smacking them"

you don't mean that do you?

and I think we have learned a lot in this country in the last twenty years and the answer is no to smacking

I wouldn't ever feel comfortable about smacking a baby.

you don't need to apologise to me Angeliz .. I just thought OP had posted this on its own thread because it had got lost in the mire of condemnation and she was interested

Just answering the question, i knew i should have parped

I smack.

My ds is 3.8 and is always warned he is going to get a smack.

My other ds is just 1 and has been known to have a smack too.

So there.

I am not keen on smacking but I have been known to smack - usually when I lose control, I admit it. I would like to never smack, but sometimes I feel a smack works better than other sanctions. Dh is far more inclined to smack than I am but I am pleased to say, I have been successful in getting him to do other thngs now. Eg today ds1 (9) threw a tantrum because he wasn't allowed on the computer. Dh ignored it. A few minutes later, still raging about not being allowed on the computer, ds1 lashed out at ds3 causing latter to cry. Dh sent ds1 to his room. On previous occasions, both things would have caused dh to smack ds1 in the past.

Anyway, what age is acceptable? Difficult to say. Our youngest is 2.9 and I have only tapped him when severely provoked, not really smacked him at all. The next one up, dd, is 5 and got a real wallop from me the other day. So somewhere in betwen I would say!

Oh whoops, just read the entire thread and realsie I am now to be banned to outer hell for admitting I have used smacking before. I stayed off the other thread - did not even look at it - so I should have stayed off this one too, shouldn't I?

Tis ok lonleymum, sure you can come join us children beating, child abusing people

Sorry I am just stirring

DS1 is 3 and gets an occasional smack as does ds2 who is 19 months.

So shoot me!

In response to the original post I would say that the parent can feel comfortable about smacking at any age, how that would be for the baby/chil/teenager is another story.

IMO if you are consistent with your rules, the naughty step/corner it's more than enough, no smacking needed. I'm not going to take the holier than thou aproach either as I confess I have sinned once.. I will never do it again, I smacked his hand after he punched me in the face, he just looked at me, then at his hands, and when I tought he was going to dry he exploded in laughter and yelled Again, again! and punched me again!. Couldn't believe he found his hand being smacked that funny! and after I had smacked his hand I couldn't get a coherent argument about why it was fine for me to do it but not for him. End of story.

trying hard to say anything but never....
no, really never is what I think

I used to know a guy who liked to shoot small birds for "sport" which he described as a "challenge"
I told him that it would onlybe a challenge if they were armed too
so I reckon on that principle it is acceptable to smack your children once they are as big as you and able to smack you back
or at least provided with a weapon to balance out any differential in size?
that would seem fair

runs and hides

One thing i've pondered is that given smacking is such a social fauz pas these days, how many parents who do smack have done it in public? I know a fair few parents who do smack but never do it when they are out, I just think if they can find other methods to discipline/punish out and about why can't they use them at home?

Why smack a 1 year old?

I don't understand that...

GKWCL, hear, hear!!

Acctually zippitippitoes I fully intended to word my question that way, was very curious to find out how young some parents consider acceptable and if anyone would smack a child when still considered a baby.