dd 3 is now hitting ds 15mths for no reason

[hermykne]

she just lashes out, when no one is looking, pushed him of the chair today and he bust his lip (again).
she didnt really show any animousity to him prior to this month, but she really is asserting her bossiness to him,
i am getting alot of "NO's" from her and shes very bold. so is it all just a changing phase for her or something
i am so fed up with it/her.
she will sorry about 1/2 hr after the screaming (if thats happened too).
naughty step dont work, she gets 2mins in the utility.

Oh I'm so sorry I know how really horrible this is. You have so much emotion involved that it's really hard to try and discipline fairly and dispassionately. It's only when DS1 hits DS2 that I really loose it ATM.

I already said this on another thread so won't go into to it again, but have a similiar thing to you in that I shut him in the corridor.

The other thing my Mum suggested was to removed DS2 from the situation and break the 'cycle', so he's back in a playpen, which I'm not so happy with, but he really likes it and feels safe in there. Plus it means that I can go to the loo etc. without taking him everywhere!

Something else I saw, which I haven't got round to doing it that you should whisk DS up and give him LOADS of attention and hugs and totally ignore DD. That means the attention-seeking aspect of it is totally cut off....

I really hope this helps as I know how upsetting it is. I keep thinking about the time when DS2 will finally be able to get away from DS1 .

Also someone at work told me this morning that his second now retaliates which totally stopped the older one in his tracks!!

Tough time. Some things that can help:

As Bumbled sugggests, fuss over ds while ignoring dd.

Don't yell at her, don't show any reaction if you possibly can, just say 'We don't hit people. If you hit you cannot be with us.' and send her out of the room. It takes iron control, because in order to make you react (which is what she wants) she may tehn deliberately do something else that she knows is forbidden.

Afterwards, not long, but once things have calmed down, go to her and give her a loving cuddle and tell her again 'We don't hit people. If you want to hit something then hit your XXX'. You could even ask her to suggest something that would be bashable.

Fuss over her and give her plenty of attention when she does something good. Even if it's only playing in the same room with ds without trying anything on.

It does pass. The really important thing is to keep your cool. Any reaction rewards this sort of behaviour.

Another thought - is she jealous, does he interfere with her playing or her things? If so, can she have her own 'special' drawer or box, that only she can get into?

thank you both of you for those tips to aid my parenting at the mo!
when he goes for his nap, i usually spend some time with her, or if she has a particulat thing shewants to play with and its not suitable for him, i say we'll play with them when fionn naps.
so that gives her a special time.

THANK GOD it passes

my dh keeps saying wait til he gives it back to her!!!!!!!!!!!!eeekk