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Would You Let A Pro-Smacking Relative Babysit?

48 replies

highlander · 17/11/2005 13:19

SIL is a reception teacher. Chatting to her, she revealed last week that she is pro-smacking. She said that she 'couldn't smack in her professional capacity, more's the pity; some kids just need a hot bum'.

I was horrified and said there's no smacking in our house.

I told DH, and said she's never going to be left with DS. He says I'm over-reacting as she would never smack DS. I'm not sure.

OP posts:
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Pruni · 17/11/2005 13:20

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 17/11/2005 13:21

No. Nor would I let someone who smoked in the house.

Clayhead · 17/11/2005 13:21

No

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cod · 17/11/2005 13:21

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cod · 17/11/2005 13:21

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cupcakes · 17/11/2005 13:22

so long as she knows your rules I'm sure she would respect them.

GREATauntymandy · 17/11/2005 13:23

No one should smack someone elses child. If you believe in it or not, you cant do it to someone elses

Pruni · 17/11/2005 13:24

Message withdrawn

highlander · 17/11/2005 13:25

cod - very tired, please don't.

Don't get the sprouts thing either

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cod · 17/11/2005 13:26

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WigWamBam · 17/11/2005 13:29

If she can manage to go through all day at school without hitting a child then she has the patience to babysit without hitting, too. The fact that she believes in smacking as a form of discipline doesn't automatically mean she's going to hit your child, particularly if you explain your feelings to her.

I think you should talk to her and explain how you feel, rather than just assuming that she would take it upon herself to hit your ds. She'd probably be horrified that you were thinking such a thing of her.

tamula · 17/11/2005 13:30

If somebody done something childcare related in a way that I strongly didnt agree with I suppose it would be a natural reaction to think "we're not having her looking after our child/ren" because as a mother its your instinct to protect your child.

However she is your sil, not a stranger or a nanny or something, I'm pretty sure she would respect your rules as much as you would respect hers.

tarantula · 17/11/2005 13:30

Wouldnt bother me. I'd make sure they know that smacking is not the way you do things and leave it at that. Its not likely that they would smack your kids anyway is it?

No sprout eater in our house I can tell you. the after effects are jus ttoo horrid.

NomDePlume · 17/11/2005 13:31

Yes, I would, but I'd make it clear that my child is NOT to be smacked.

highlander · 17/11/2005 13:32

good point tamula. I think I am being a bit over-protective. it's based on seeing MIL whacking a table leg (that DS had banged his head on) and saying 'let's hit the table, it's been very bad hurting your head! Hit the table! Hit the tbale!'

I did that whole horror/laughing thing.

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highlander · 17/11/2005 13:33

aaaah. Now I get the sprouts. Dim, dim, dim

But I do love them

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frannyandzooey · 17/11/2005 13:33

I would tend not to, not because I think she would smack my child against my wishes, but because if she honestly believes that is a good way of dealing with naughty behaviour, then we are unlikely to see eye to eye on much else. You can tell her not to smack, but you can't make her into the sort of person you would want to be looking after your child.

Of course I don't know her, and so can only generalise. For all I know she is a delightful, sensitive and perfect child carer who just has this one little aberration

DissLocated · 17/11/2005 13:34

I remember my Nan doing that 'naughty table! smack the table!' etc etc Peter Kay says something about it in one of his videos as well.

piffle · 17/11/2005 13:34

I would, but only if she was made aware of NOT ever smacking my child.

oliveoil · 17/11/2005 13:38

I do the 'hit the table' thing highlander, what's wrong with it?

Like if she falls over it's 'nasty floor' etc.

Am I to expect a visit from the Social?

x

highlander · 17/11/2005 13:43

olive; I don't like the 'retaliate with violence' thing

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stitch · 17/11/2005 13:45

i think you are overreacting.

expatinscotland · 17/11/2005 13:45

Where's SackAche when you need her? She was looking for contraversial threads and now the board's full of 'em.

oliveoil · 17/11/2005 13:46

ahh well, something else for me to worry about then.

Although I don't see tapping the floor of slapping a chair as violence tbh.

spagblog · 17/11/2005 14:02

ah gawd. I am with Oliveoil here...It just takes the focus off the minor pain in the banged area and stops the wailing.