Positive vibes please - teen daughter says she has no friends

[Sallo]

I know it's ups and downs but my daughter is in a long phase where she feels she has no friends; I know things will get better but find it hard to say the right thing to cheer her up or get her out of the dumps. Any suggestions please?

I have exactly the same situation with my 14 year old DD, this has been happening to her since pre school, I just don’t understand it, because to me she’s fun and chatty, she has no outside interests which does frustrate me, she’s year 10 now going into year 11 in September 2018, and she’s literally falling apart in front of my eyes, I’ve had numerous meetings with the school, but my DD is desperately unhappy, and I’m really worried about her mental well being, I’ve now got to the point that I’m going to finish her education at home, because I’m so worried about her mental state, she cry’s every night, and every morning before school, her attendance is shocking, but I can’t see my daughter like this anymore, and I fear because of the stress she’ll end up doing something harmful to herself. I do feel that homeschooling her will give her more of an opportunity to pass her GCSE’s because she’s happy and comfortable at home, but then am I isolating her further? Her argument is, is that she’s isolated, unhappy and lonely at school, she often sits in the isolation room at school just to get her work done, because when she’s in class she’s paranoid and she says she feels so lonely, this is completely breaking my heart.

I feel for you - my daughter is going through a similar thing. She’s 14, moved around a bit between social groups in her first year of high school and then found a girl who seemed to be a perfect friend for her. That girl abruptly dumped her earlier this year. She now feels that she has no social group at school. She does have one friend that she hangs around with at break times but she’s often off sick and my dd feels that the other girl is just using her so as not to feel alone. dd did go out yesterday with a girl from her year and I felt hopeful but then later dd told me that it had been a hard day and all on the other girl’s terms. She does have sports outside of school and she feels accepted there and has friends. But it’s so hard for her at school and it breaks my heart. It all just seems really bitchy at school. She can’t see it changing and I’m struggling to know what advice to give her beyond just being interested and nice to everyone. It’s reassuring to read on here that she’s definitely not alone though, and these posts are probably just the tip of the iceberg. Girls eh? Tricky creatures.

I’d love to hear how all these girls years and months later are doing