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4 year olds and the "great" British stiff upper lip!

6 replies

sandyballs · 16/11/2005 12:31

I've been having a bit of a row with my mother (nothing unusual there!), and I would appreciate a MN perspective on it.

I collected DD (4.5) from school yesterday and her teacher wanted a little word with me. She explained that they had been practising their lines for the school play and when it came to DD's turn to stand up in class and say her bit (about 10 words), she went bright red and blotchy and burst into tears. The teacher comforted her and decided to give her a different line consisting of only 4 words and DD seems a lot happier with this. I told her it didn't matter if she forgot them or didn't want to do it, it was only a play, nothing to worry about etc etc.

"Dear" old mum overhears this conversation and buts in with "Of course you should do it, we all have to do things we don't want to do, you need to stand up, put your shoulders back and get on with it girl". She believes I'm giving DD the wrong message by allowing her to feel upset about these things and not making her "get on with it".
She's 4 FGS, she's been at school a few weeks, still hasn't made that many friends and obviously found it a bit of an ordeal and my mum's attitude has made me cross .

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Lizzylou · 16/11/2005 12:33

You are the parent here and you know your DD best, your Mom means well but I'd go with your gut instinct.

laligo · 16/11/2005 12:35

i hated ever being the centre of attention at school and would even go red saying "here" during the register! - so i totally sympathise with your dd and i think you are right to comfort her. feeling that these things didn't really matter would have helped me at that age.

Earlybird · 16/11/2005 12:36

Agree with you sandyballs. At such a young age, she should be able to be immature. There are times when we all have to push through something we fear, but at 4 there is plenty of time to "be tough".

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Gobbledigook · 16/11/2005 12:50

I'm afraid I'm with you sandyballs - ds1 is the same and hates being the centre of attention in this way. Why should they be made to do it? They aren't all budding actors are they?!

GillL · 16/11/2005 12:52

I agree that she shouldn't be made to do it if she feels self-conscious. I was like this all through school and hated public speaking. Your dd will become more confident in her own time.

Enid · 16/11/2005 12:53

sounds like your mum has forgotten what its like to be 4

yes I'd agree with her if the dd involved was 14!

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