Adoption - what will the social worker ask?

[wilbur]

Wasn't sure where to post this. I have been asked by a friend to be one of her referees for her adoption application. I am being interviewed about my friends by a social worker in a couple of weeks. I was wondering if anyone knew what kind of things I will be asked or had any tips for me.

No tips but after seeing the documentary on adoptions on Channel 4 and marvelling at the people who go this route, good luck to your friend Wilbur. She is going to transform a child's life if things go well

Yes, they will be the most wonderful parents, too, so much love and good stuff to give. Wish I'd seen the documentary, was it recent?

Yes, 2 parter on C4. Focussed on children who might be considered "hard to place", eg, older, come with sibs, sad early life has led to behavioural issues or developmental delay. All the children were delightful, the social workers were endlessly caring and patient, the foster-parents were awe-inspiring, and at the end the happiness of the adoptees and their parents just shone through. It was like a good deed in a naughty world actually. Well worth catching if repeated - I wonder if your friend watched it or whether she felt it too near the knuckle at this time?

They did not the adoptive parent selection process btw, so you didn't miss any useful info there on what will be asked.

One of the things the social worker might ask is how the adoptive parents will be supported by friends/family/in the community, which is where you come in

Best of luck to all concerned

I'm not an expert on adoption but work with children. First thing is don't worry! I'm sure it will be fine. My one major tip would be to be COMPLETELY honest about your friend. Obviously you want to help make this dream come true for her but adoptions can, and do, break down, which is obviously so damaging and painful for a child already in a vulnerable position. Social worker needs to know the areas your friend will be good AND bad at - so that they can support her in order to make the adoption successful for the child.

It's possible they MAY ask whether you wish to be a babysitter now and again to help out your friend, if this is the case and you're willing they may ask to police check you.

These are only ideas, as I say I'm not an expert. I hope it helps. Maybe the most helpful thing to bear in mind is that there is usually a shortage of adopters so if suitable your friend will be snapped up!

Thanks dexter. I guess I'm concerned with how personal these questions might be. Do they ask about alcohol / drugs? I have known this couple since our teens and so, as you would expect, have had many happy, drunken nights out with them, although hardly at all now we are a bit old and lightweight . I wouldn't lie, I just need to know how to present the truth!

Wilbur, this really doesn't sound like an issue. IF they were currently heavy drinkers then maybe - but even then, the social worker isn't asking questions to 'catch you out' - they would want to know would it impact on the child, how they could support the family best, etc. Obviously I would hope no child would be placed with a family where drink/drugs were a real problem! That's why there's a selection process - your friends sound completely normal!

We've all gone out on those evenings, and nature doesn't stop us being parents!! Anyway once they adopt they'll be so bl**y knackered they won't be able to get through a glass of wine before they're asleep.....