SAHDads

[GREATauntymandy]

How do you feel about toddler groups etc. Do you get left out ot ignored.

How would your partner feel if you joined in on the coffee morning thing?

Dont know why i was thinking about this this morning!

I joines toddler group when JB was 6 weeks old and at first did feel like a lemon. Only that JB was so little he got a lot of oohing and aahing that I began to make friends. Parents of older kids have their own click which is fair enough but more new mums are joining and I suppose we have our own click. Its great to meet fellow mums and have a good natter and whinge and I have gotten lots of good advice from ther. It's also a break from the house.

are you a SAHM?

Whats a SAHM?

stay at hom mum
or are you a dad?
Not that it matters.
I was just thinking this morning, if a dad came to toddlers and our children got on, what would DH think if I invited him back for coffee!

I'm a Sahm for now but I am going back to work in Feb.. thats another topic! With regards to bringing a man home for coffee morning I know my hubby would raise an eyebrow. Have you got NCT in your area? They have open houses and is also a great way to meet other mums in your area

I go to toddlers etc.
I dont feel left out thats not twhat the thread is about!
Is that how it reads?
How old is your little one?

AuntyM - I get what you mean. Didn't answer because I'm a SAHM, not a SAHD

its not just a thread for dads!!
I was just thinking about it, and thought there are a few sahd on here and felt a bit sorry for them if they get excluded because they are male when its really about being a parent!

My little one is 12 weeks old.
Unfor

so you are on maternity leave?
Is it your first baby?

one of my NCT freinds is a sahd and I am in a kind of part time way and yes we have both had a winge about this and the matronising about how nice it is we can change nappies and the looks you get if you forget a bib or wipes (ahh never mind he is a man)>, oh and the bloke-likes-kids must be a pervert thing and the no I'm not chatting you up thing.
this guy is the nicest non confrontational person I know and his DD doesnt get the opportunities to play with other kids because of how he is made too feel when he goes to groups.
I've said before that I tend to avoid certain meet ups cos I think they would be the possibility of misunderstanding

That's pants, CarlK. No wonder SAHDs stay away from M&T groups. FWIW, I hated them too, always feeling like the odd one out.

Dp is a SAHD and I trying to get him to go to P&T groups atm which he keeps meaning to do as itll be good for dd. He does feel left out at them and also bored as he doesnt really relate to what alot of the women are chatting about. I cant see him getting into the coffee mornign scene at all (but then thats not my scene either tbh). He was fine during the summer as he'd get the house sorted in the morning and go out to the park/for a cycle etc in the afternoon and often got chatting to people in the playground but now that winters hit he's feeling it a bit more. the fact that we have very little/no money to spare doesnt help either .

It must be really lonely for them.
I have 3 older chldren and 2 younger ones and al my friends have older children and I am now starting again making friends. Its hard enough for me so it must be really hard if everyone is stand offish because you are a man.
But must admit if my DH started going to womens houses i would be rwlly upset!!!

at the reaction your friend gets CarlK. Dp has never had any problems like that. More like gobsmaked looks that a MAN could manage to use real nappies and actually managed to wash and dry them himself. they all think hes mad.

yeh I get that too

My DP is staying at home with DS from Jan onwards, and I am worried how he will cope (and how I will cope going back to work, but that is another story). We have found a local Dads and Babies group, and our local early years centre runs courses and structured activites for babies, which I think DP will feel more comfortable with than sitting around making small talk with other mums. HAve also found a website specifically for SAHDs, I think it's www.homedad.org.uk but would need to check that.

Didn't feel very comfortable with the womanly text regarding baby massage / baby yoga courses I looked at. Didn't seem very inclusive. I sometimes see the NCT mums with dw, and have even met up with them without her (she was ill, or funding Brent Cross Retail limited, or something LOL).

I think it generally is hard being a dad at baby things tbh. Gotta just smile and go with the flow... people will get used to you (men) very quickly I guess.

I wonder if SAHDs have a harder time in areas where the women are more likely not to work or not to mix with men where they work. There are loads of SAHDs (prob about 10%-20%) at the groups/classes that I go to and they seem to mix in just fine. After all just a few months ago I was working in an office with lots of men and managing to socialise perfectly well with them, why would I suddenly have a problem now, and I think most of the women around here are in the same position.

do u have a sure start in ur area they are really good and have special dad groups my DH comes with us and really likes it (and they are free)