Children who look older/younger than their age. What's the most stupid thing a stranger has said to you?

[coppertop]

DS1 was a large baby and has always looked older than his true age. He's now 3 but looks about 5 or 6. Over the past 3 years we've had some really strange comments from people in the street and was just wondering if anyone else goes through this. My favourites so far have been:

"What's the matter with him? Why isn't he running around like all the others?" (age 4 months)

"Why isn't he in school?" (age 19 months)

"He's a bit old for a pushchair isn't he?" (age 9 months).

So what's the worst you've heard and what did you say?

Its not to do with age size but the most stupid things are. Why do you never put your pretty little girl in a dress its really mean. About my ds2. Also how come he isnt blue, when they found out he had a heart complaint

That's truly awful! Not sure I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from punching them - and I'm not usuall y a violent person...well, not always

She/he shouldn't be in a pushchair.........ummmm they are disabled!!!!!!!
and "whats your name?" to a child that can't talk, fair enough she is 3, but don't make me feel bad when she doesn't reply

My dd1 is actually rather small for her age but has never had a rather little-girl as opposed to baby face, so people assume she's older and when they realise her real age they think it must be because she's huge (does this make sense)? Anyway, I really resent remarks like 'she's a whopper, isn't she?'

DD has always been tall and while I now can't remember specifics I know people regularly expected more of her because she looked older. She also talked very well very early and consequently people expected her behaviour to match the age they thought she was. At 6 we still get this quite a lot.

As for ds, he's 9m, also big ("he's a big boy isn't he!!"and very pretty. ("oh, I thought it was a girl!" Could quite easily pass for a girl if I put him in a dress. Has something to do with his very big round blue eyes I think. Anyway I've developed a thick skin.

DD has always been tall and while I now can't remember specifics I know people regularly expected more of her because she looked older. She also talked very well very early and consequently people expected her behaviour to match the age they thought she was. At 6 we still get this quite a lot.

As for ds, he's 9m, also big ("he's a big boy isn't he!!"and very pretty. ("oh, I thought it was a girl!" Could quite easily pass for a girl if I put him in a dress. Has something to do with his very big round blue eyes I think. Anyway I've developed a thick skin.

dd1 (on the smaller side of average), the girl upstairs said 'oh she's good at talking, how old is she?' my reply '3 and a half' 'oh i thought she was younger'

abour dd2(off the charts for weight and height), 'why dont u feed her solids' ummmm she is 6 weeks old that why. 'she should be walking further by now.' well she only started walking 2 months ago at 11months old, so no i dont think she can quite manage a stroll down the local shops (about 2miles away). 'so whens she starting nursery?' in about 2.5 years i guess.

my dad makes me laugh as dd2 does look older, and he offered her a chip once. she was only about 5months old and my mum told him off. he actually forgot she was so young. makes me laugh when in resturants they offer her 'kids fun packs' always with crayons in. she has just started drawing and can hold a pencil/crayon. but i always tell her not to eat them. the staff look at me as if i'm mad til i explain that she is only 13months old.

The stupidest thing I ever got wasn't so much what people said, but what they didn't say. When I went to the local chemist with my new daughter of about 10 days old and her big brother, of 2 and 3/4 years old, all these mad old women swooped on the baby and clucked and coo-ed and admired her. They totally and completely ignored him, and his face just totally fell. Talk about a brutal awakening - it really irritated me, because up until then, he'd been totally excited and enthusiastic about his new sister; but then nobody had been stupid enough to imply that he was of no interest anymore.

My ds is also 3, but like coppertop's ds, he looks more like 5 because of his size. About six months ago my dad took ds to the barber's with him to have his hair cut. DS was chattering away to the barber in his toddler-ish way of talking (he was not yet 3), and the barber asked my father if ds was retarded because he wasn't speaking like a 5 yr old.

Now that he's older, his speech has improved enormously and he talks like a normal 3 yr old, but I can't believe that people have the nerve to say things like this about other people's children when they don't have a clue. Maybe he should've asked HOW OLD he was first!!!

meanbean, that is really horrible.

I was asked by a customs officer if I could take ds out of the pushchair & get him to walk throught the detector arch on his own. I said he couldn't (he's a baby) & she replied (speaking french & obviously assuming I couldn't understand) what's wrong with him - is he handicapped?

DP and I are both small, so DD is theerfore small also. The other week at a parent and baby/toddler group I heard the comment, "Surely she's not old enough to be walking". My reply ws "She is nearly 14 months old and has been walking for nearly 2 months!"

What gets me, reading all these posts, is the CHEEK of these people! They wouldn't make remarks like this to or about another adult - would they? (I don't know, maybe they would, just not as rudely.) But little children seem to be fair game. dinosaur's aggressive woman wouldn't walk up to a large adult and say "you are fat. Really really fat"? (Unless she wanted a thump )

Grrrr. Dinosaur I would have said "you are stupid, really really stupid".

My dd is big too (95th centile for everything) and it really annoys me when people make rude comments about it. I have decided to make personal comments back (eg yes she is big, but so are your ankles or maybe yes she is big but she is lucky to have nice skin unlike you!!"

But seriously, it does worry me sometimes, I guess when she really starts walking she'll lose some of it. She's not fat, just tall and solid. She will be the oldest in her year at school too, which will only exacerbate the issue I'm sure. Will just have to start commenting on how the other children must be malnourished.

countess dracula my dd2 will also be the eldest in her year (1st sept 02 she was born). people say kids those the weight when they start moving, well not in my dd case. she is still large, always will be. like i say she is off the charts atm for height and weight, has been off height chart since she was 5 months old, only off weight chart since 10months. but she is in proportion regardless of being big. the only thing i'm now worried about is when she reaches 15kg, if my buggy breaks the guarentee is invalid, as they are only tested upto this weight. will just have to hide her if this happens i guess.

misdee my dd was 4 Sept. Maybe they could go to the same school! She's not off the scale, but has been 95th centile since birth for height, weight and head circ. I put some shoes on her the other day and sat her on the stairs and she looked like a 3 year old!

countess dracula - DS was 95th percentile too as an older baby and he was born a very average 7lb's 8 oz's. He's a lovely lean tall and active 3 yr old now. I wouldn't worry - they change all the time.

cd and misdee,

I'm going to have the very opposite problem with dd. She is late August bday and is very petite - 9.5kg and 80 cm at 2 ! She has fallen off the bottom of the graph LOL. No HV's here to "be concerned" though! People look at her and wonder how she can be walking , even though she has for over a year. Clothes last longer though, which pleases dh

Lizs how cute! I was reading a book the other day, and within the "normal" (ie 1 -100 centile) range it is entirely possible for a 1 year old to be the same weight as a 3.5 year old! My dd is 13 months and weighs 11.5 kilos!

DH took the boys to the baby clinic for a combined 18 mth/ 3.5 year check. First the HV demanded to know "where is your wife- why didn't she bring them" (she's at work). They went though all the checks & they passed them all, then she asked why one wasn't speaking as well as the other.. "Well he's only 18 months". She thought they were twins (they have the same birthday 2 years apart) and had been testing them both on the 3 years check!!!

Same child, aged 5 months, was told by other mums to be careful when he crawled too close to their fat, flaccid 4 months olds.... (they thought he was a lot older because he was mobile)

Today we were walking round Somerfield with DD2, she hardly uses the pushchair, and these two old dears said "awww, she doesn't look old enough to be walking"
For Gods Sakes she's 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is little tho.

An old chap came up to me with my dd and said "how old is she then, about 9 months?" - well actually no she's 9 weeks and she was 9 weeks premature so gestationally 0 weeks - I didn't tell him all this as he was quite a nice old dear - not really stupid, just a bit out of touch.

LOL Tallulah - doesn't really count but reminded me that when I was pregnant we moved so had to change midwifes. I had a tiny bump (god knows where all that baby was)and the (slightly scatty) MW tried to book me in for antenatal classes about 4 months AFTER the due date... I had to tell her several times that the due date was just 6 weeks away!

comments this week at dd1 nursery. 'aww she so small' 'she only looks about 2'. ah well.