New baby waking 3 year old

[tex111]

My friends all told me that DS would miraculously sleep through the new baby's night feeds, but this has not happened. In fact, he's up every night so far (two weeks) and it's becoming increasingly stressful.

Last night DS woke up at the baby's 10pm feed. She dropped off as soon as she ate but DS wouldn't go back to sleep and ended up keeping me awake until the baby woke again for her next feed at 1am! I felt so frustrated and it all became a very negative situation. I'm concerned that DS is just feeling left out because DD is in our room and he is in his own room. I wouldn't mind him sleeping in our bed, which he did frequently before DD arrived, if he would just sleep. It's the constant chatting and trying to get up that is driving me crazy.

I don't know what to do as I don't want for him to feel excluded from the rest of the family by being alone in his own room but I really need some sleep. And so does he, he's a grumpy little thing all day because he's missing out on his usual 12 hours. DH has tried sleeping in DS's room with him but DS wants to be with me. I do make sure and spend alone time with him in the day so I don't know how I can increase the amount of attention he's getting from me. Help! Really pulling my hair out.

bump

Where is everyone sleeping at the moment?

We currently have 3 year old in her own room - I shut the door (not quite closed) when she is asleep so that the baby doesn't disturb too much.

Baby is in my bed with me.

Daddy is in the spare room. When DD wakes up she is allowed to go into Daddy's room but not into my room - so that Daddy doesn't "get lonely" - it's not fair that mummy has BOTH babies to cuddle!

(Well that's how we've sold it to her)

Working ok so far but you have my sympathies!

Obviously I never see DH at all but it's not forever.

Have exactly the same problem tex111, it's not easy is it. In fact this morning was so bad, DS who is 3 took his nappy off and crapped in his bedroom and it was EVERYWHERE and that was because baby who is 6 weeks old woke him in the night and he wasn't able to get back to sleep, then is is tired for pre-school and the day is really stressful with two tired children and a very tired mummy! So far when DS1 wakes in the night I feed the baby first, then go into his room, check he has dummy, etc and tell him to go back to sleep and not go back in again. He makes the most awful racket, banging on the door, then waking the baby AGAIN but it is getting better and some times he does just sleep through baby crying for his feed - and Morningpaper is right, it doesn't last forever they have to sleep eventually, just getting there is the problem

Morningpaper, DH and I were just talking about a similiar kind of arrangement this morning. At the moment it's me, DH and DD in the same room and DS in his own room. I can understand him wanting to be with the rest of us but maybe if DH goes into the guest room it can be all the boys in one room and all the girls in the other. At least until things calm down.

Ruthiemum, I'm glad to hear I'm not alone! Yep, we had one of those 'everybody's tired' days today and it's very hard work. Did manage to get DS off to preschool so I've had a little break this afternoon. My DS sometimes sleeps through one of DD's feeds but it's usually because I end up jumping out of bed as soon as she stirs, I'm so afraid of waking DS and being up for hours. I've even taken DD down to the kitchen to feed which is a real pain but gets me a bit more sleep in the end.

Lord, I knew it was going to be hard but I don't think I really prepared for this. [tired emoticon]

how about a strong reward system if he stays sleeping in his own bed. (rabbit clock can be very useful, it pops up at the time they're allowed to get up. a 3 year old can appreciate this quite well). lots of praise/rewards when he does it.

plus emphasising the fun things he can do which the boring baby gets left out of (anything really he enjoys). maybe make some time alone with him each day if possibly while dh takes the baby.

most things for 3 year olds can be solved in the short term with chocolate drops or similar trivial bribes, I find.

Snap!!! Everyone told me that DD wouldnt be disturbed by DS' night wakenings, how wrong were they!!!! DD's good sleeping pattern went out of the window the day DS was born 6 weeks ago She first refused to sleep in her own room and now wakes up as soon as he stirs, even if he doesnt cry!! She must be super sensed to it or something. Last night she woke 3 times and cried and screamed everytime that she wanted me, but I was feeding. Anyway DH and I have decided to be extra firm over the next few nights to try anf break the habit, which I'm sure it is now. Tonight when she wakes and wnats to come into our room we are going to do the Supernanny thing and take her back to her bed (kicking and screaming if necessary) until she realises we mean business Sounds harsh but I'm no good to anyone if I'm shattered and it's difficult to handle her when she's a grouch due to lack of sleep......so fingers crossed it wont last too long this week....think it will be worth it. It's a big change in her little life but if the habit's not nipped in the bud now I can see it getting worse and worse for all concerned. Hope you find a solution soon. Congrats by the way, oh and the lack of sleep soon feels normal (she says in a zombie like trance!!)

tex111: this arrangement is working well for us. To be honest it means that DH gets MORE sleep than if he was in with us and being disturbed by the faffing around feeds and changes - and I can snuggle in bed with the baby with lots of space to ourselves! There is also no arguments about who gets up for who - I 'do' the baby and DH 'does' the older one.

"most things for 3 year olds can be solved in the short term with chocolate drops"

lol fennell!

Personally I think you need to be firm and set the 3 yo boundaries. I think they are bound to push the limits when there is a new arrival but really do need their sleep as you have discovered. Lots of attention in the day but they must sleep in their own bed and stay there until a set time in morning - use bunny clock or light on timer.

I followed a combination of advice you guys offered and we got a decent night's sleep last night! DS did wake up at 4.00 but we had discussed that he could have a Kinderegg if he stayed in his room all night but that he and Daddy could 'camp out' there as a special treat. So at 4 he came in , got DH and we all went back to sleep! Brilliant. I feel like a new woman.

I'm hoping we can do this a bit and then, once he realises he's not missing anything by sleeping through the night he'll stop waking up at all. I think getting back to his routine will help too. He went back to preschool yesterday and was really tired last night which is one of the reasons he slept until 4. That alone was an improvement on the previous few nights.

I'm also ordering the bunny clock as part of his Christmas gifts. It sounds like a great idea. I think I'll add the Supernanny book to my list. I've always liked her TV programme but I didn't realise she had a book too.

tex111 that's great

chocolate.
wonderful stuff.

hope the bunny clock works, it does for us.

Glad you had a good night txt! Good luck. xx