does anyone do that thing where you deliberately spend half an hour with each child in turn?

[Enid]

That they recommend doing on supernanny etc?

I have two dds and they are fighting a lot atm and vying for my attention. I have been a bit shite as a mum for a while (I plead pg) so I have decided to spend half an hour with dd2 this afternoon doing whatever she wants, then half an hour with dd1 doing whatever she wants.

Is this a good idea? How do I stop dd2 feeling rejected while I spend time with dd1 (who suffers as dd2 very demanding and cuddly atm).

they are nearly 6 and just 3 btw.

This is a much more 'planned and calculating' approach to parenting than I usually have so am feeling a bit unsure about it.

I quite like the fact its a 'rule'

I also think the good thing for us is that they choose what to do rather than me trying to get them to do something

I had never played top trumps with dd1 before (dh does it) and it was really good fun!

cod I know

trying to make the most of it before May

Message withdrawn

we only have 'junior' top trumps. Disney heroes - if you get Mr Smee you are buggered.

need to move up, up and away

just caught this enid. I guess when your dds get a little older, you can stagger their bedtimes more. dd2 could go straight to bed after bathtime while dd1 is allowed to come downstairs for 15 more minutes.

I don't know if this would work for you. I used to do this, telling ds2 that ds1 had some homework /reading practice/toy tidying to do with me. Anything really that ds2 hated doing, so he'd happily leave ds1 to his 'chore' while he escaped them by going to bed.

My view is if it feels forced, don't do it. You don't have an obligation to treat each child equally , you do have an obligation to treat them fairly (there is a difference). I have 5, some have different challenges and need more time. The best advice I had from an experienced mom is, go to the one that needs you the most and then on down the line. And the need and child will change all the time. I do try to include them alone when I can. When I step out to get groceries, I take on along and leave the rest wtih dh or dh takes one with him to get the newpaper around the corner. DH and one child will fill the dishwasher to gether and talk, things like that. Two nights ago the oldest and I went to a music concert together. It will be likely years before we do it again, but the memories we made that night are for a lifetime.