If you have a toddler, when do you do the housework?

[AngelDog]

Is it just when they're asleep? Do you do things at a set point in the day so it becomes routine, or just as and when?

I'm struggling to do the basics, by which I mean:

1. Loading / unloading washing machine
2. Hanging washing on line in garden
3. Preparing meals
4. Clearing up after meals
5. Unloading shopping from pushchair/clearing rubbish out of nappy bag
6. Washing up / emptying dishwasher

My 16 m.o. DS will stand on his set of steps at the worksurface and get in the way for about 3 minutes while I wash up or cook, but not for long enough to get anything done, and he can get pretty cross while I'm doing things like clearing up after meals as he wants me to be playing with him.

Recently I've been tired and napping when DS does, which makes it harder to fit things into the rest of the day, when I try to get out of the house as much as I can. There's a limit to what I can fit into an evening, and some things do need doing during the day.

We have fairly low standards, so I don't really bother with stuff like cleaning.

2+ hours awake overnight, urgh AD - poor you! It's rare DD does more than 2 hours when she's going through that kind of phase, but it's a killer, isn't it...?!
Your DS will get there (sleep-throughs) I'm sure. And when he does I'll be the first to chuck a bouquet in your direction!

Toddler "helping" is a good one - I give DD the basket of pegs to play with when hanging out washing, for example. In the kitchen she gets a handful of teaspoons or dried pasta and a couple of plastic tubs for sorting....

Bathroom cleaning can happen when she's in the bath, bits of cooking/food prep/washing up while she's eating.....

Or DH and I alternate childcare with other domestic duties.... (on a strictly egalitarian basis, of course )

Angeldog most folks have echoed advice I was all ready to give you, some excellent suggestions here - but as you've been such a help with DD's sleep problems before (was Kaiki pre-name change) I'd like to try to help you out too.

I also sleep when DD (13 months) sleeps in the day, it's a little siesta and makes us both less grumbly by the afternoon.

She actively seems to enjoy helping with the washing but can get very bored waiting for me to cook or hoover which I have been known to do with her in a sling on my back if very bad.

We have a drawer and a cupboard full of her bits and a few toys which can help keep her occupied if I'm in the kitchen, and if I want to do a 'big' bathroom clean I'll wang her in a shallow bath with some toys while I do sink, floor & tiles etc, mindlessly chatting or singing as she plays.

I also found chunky magnets on your fridge or freezer quite good for distraction, we keep her bucket next to it and she takes them all off to put in the bucket, then out again, then back on the fridge...it's like an exercise in monotony but she seems to enjoy it. Have you thought about getting a toy dustpan/brush set ? Apparently I loved mine as a child, and my toy mop.

A toy mop for Jeff's sake, how easily pleased was I ?

Yes, I should get a toy dustpan & brush. I did buy a hand-held hoover so DS could use it when he got a bit bigger, but he's terrified of it as well as the big hoover. I loved my (fully functional) toy carpet sweeper as a child. I hated the iron which didn't actually get the creases out of my doll's clothes!

DS loves our fridge magnets, but unfortunately most are exactly the right size to block a windpipe.

IC, the long spells awake aren't usually too bad when they do happen - DS can self-settle then (although not at bedtime ) so I just let him roam in the dark and I generally drop off before he does. :) But teething meant I had to spend all the time rocking in the rocking chair while he tried to abseil off my lap. We seem to have cracked it though - 3 reasonable nights now, and they're the last teeth apart from his 2 year old molars. (I'm still napping through his naps though - bliss.)

My DS was very good at entertaining himself but DD is/was a different kettle of fish.

Cbeebies or a special DVD worked a treat.

Sometimes if I had a lot of jobs to do in the kitchen I would put her in the washing up bowl in the sink and give her a few toy cups and teapot to play with and loads of bubbles. This meant killing 2 birds with one stone as she was bathed too. Is that really bad?

Now at nearly 3 she asks if there are any "special" jobs for her to do and I usually allocate her something like matching the socks which she really likes.

I also give her a water spray bottle with just water in it and get her to clean something, eg our patio doors. This keeps her entertained for ages.

Dishwasher is unloaded in the morning before breakfast and goes on after dinner. I try to do the washing in the evening and take it out and fold it up ready for hanging out in the morning. DH made DD her own little washing line attached to the shed and she loves hanging out her clothes.

It does get better.

I make the buggers help!

The love loading the washing machine or dryer. They even know how to fold clothes now. They will fetch milk to help me make drinks and we play the 'how many things can we put away in five minutes game, on a very regular basis.

And yes it does get better. Mine are 4 and a half and nearly three and they are almost human now!

at 'almost human'.

I'd not thought of putting him in the washing up bowl - that'd save him chucking the bowl on the floor like he normally does. :)

Yes, put him in the bowl, he'll love it!

I think it's good for them to 'help' do some chores although you have to allow more time. Also they need to learn that sometimes they have to amuse themselves while you're doing things.

I Sky plus peppa pig and ben and holly which will give me 10 mins to do the dishes or make lunch, or put away shopping. Washing I try and set the timer on the machine before I go to bed so it's ready in the morning, or at least fill the machine the night before even if I don't switch it on til first thing. To put it out I either take the children out in the garden with me or if I'm in a hurry and won't be able to get them back into the house quickly, or if the ground is wet and I don't want them out in the garden I can put it on the freestanding clothes airer in the house and then put that out the back. This also has the additional benefit that if it starts to rain it's quicker to get in than a pegged out load of washing.

If I am preparing food that takes a little while I will take it to the table in the room so they can play with their toys etc while I'm doing food prep. Not meat or anything, preparing veggies etc. Some things I will take in there so they can help me too, then it doubles as entertainment.

Stuff like sweeping and dusting, cleaning windows etc, I think it's easiest to get smaller brushes and dusters and let them help you. ELC do a small cleaning set, and you can just give them an ordinary cloth for windows etc.

It helps that I have a babygate to keep them out of the kitchen while I am emptying the dishwasher or I'd have to do it in the evening.

I've tried to involve my 3 yr old and the jobs she can do are: she shakes the damp laundry as I hang it up; she and her older brother sort the dry laundry into piles and then carry it to whoever's bedroom; hoovering - she can do for about 10 seconds; putting cushions back on sofa, picking up clothes/toys in her room; putting dirty clothes at bathtime into washbasket; making her bed and putting pyjamas on pillow. That sounds quite alot now I've written it out!
When I'm washing up I put out the playdoh for her.

We got a cleaner to come twice a week. It put an end to bickering about housework, and although the house isn't gleaming all the time, it is always in a state such that I would be happy for people to turn up unannounced.

I still do some cleaning, in between her visits, but it takes no time at all, and the rest of the time is spent taking DS out and about. And if for some reason (e.g. we're all ill in bed) no cleaning can get done, the house doesn't get that bad as there's not that much time between our cleaner's visits.

It took me months to decide to spend the money on this, and I wish I'd done it earlier. Less stress, more time for fun with DS - the best money I've spent in a long while.